“I want to apologize. I judged you when I saw you walk in with your children, and I really needed to say something.”
Last weekend, I strolled into a restaurant with three of my kids in tow. Clad in an off-the-shoulder top, skinny jeans, open-toed heels, and a splash of lipstick, I sensed that my choice of outfit might not align with a traditional “motherly” image.
As a 33-year-old mom of four kids under the age of 9, I often find myself in pajama pants or workout gear. Unless it’s a special occasion, I don’t usually make an effort to dress up.
However, that evening was different. My husband had planned a special dinner for our youngest, and I took the opportunity to treat the three older kids to a meal, followed by a visit to their favorite arcade. It felt like the perfect reason to get a little dressed up.
Upon entering the restaurant connected to the arcade, I caught a few curious glances. It’s a familiar scene for me, as navigating public spaces with little ones can often feel like a circus. Thankfully, my kids were relatively well-behaved that night, their laughter blending seamlessly with the lively ambiance of the arcade.
Yet, one woman appeared to have formed an opinion about me the moment I walked in, likely judging based solely on my appearance. I can only speculate what thoughts crossed her mind, but her apology suggested she assumed I might care more about my looks than my children.
Perhaps she noticed how I scooped my 4-year-old onto my lap for a closer cuddle. Maybe she observed me being playful with my kids while we waited for our food, or saw us bow our heads in prayer before eating. Perhaps it was when she witnessed my children wrapping their little arms around me and playing with my hair as I laughed.
I’ll never forget the moment she tapped my shoulder and uttered, “I’m sorry. I judged you when I saw you walk in with your kids…and I just had to apologize.”
I paused, reflecting on her words and the meaning behind them. Instead of probing for more details, I gently placed my hand on her arm, smiled, and replied, “Thank you. That truly means a lot. You didn’t have to say anything, but I appreciate it.”
She returned my smile and said, “No, I needed to. You really opened my eyes tonight.”
I leaned in for a quick hug before dashing off to catch up with my kids once more. I didn’t catch her name, and it’s likely I’ll never see her again, but her words left a lasting impression on me.
In the journey of motherhood, there’s simply no room for judgment or assumptions. Instead, we should always make space for compassion and understanding.
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In summary, an unexpected apology from a fellow mom reminded me of the importance of compassion in our parenting journeys. We are all in this together, and it’s crucial to approach others with kindness rather than judgment.