Parenting Insights
By Jessica Lane
April 15, 2023
Describing my journey with my eldest son feels like navigating a labyrinth of emotions. Using the word “struggle” often brings a wave of guilt because he embodies everything I’ve ever wanted in a child. I realize how fortunate I am to be his mother. He’s an incredible whirlwind of energy, filling our home with joy, laughter, and, yes, the occasional shattered lamp.
Yet, the truth is, his boundless spirit can sometimes leave me utterly drained—bone-deep exhausted. Each day feels like a constant clash of wills, my resolve tested against his fierce determination. By the time night falls, I collapse into bed, feeling like a frayed thread. No matter how many activities I plan to exhaust him, he remains a bundle of energy. Getting him to sleep is like trying to bathe a cat—it’s a spectacle worth watching, happening night after night. He simply isn’t tired.
To make matters more complicated, I struggle to find effective ways to discipline him. If I’m too strict, it backfires. If I give him a little leeway, he pushes the boundaries to the extreme. He is the embodiment of scraped knees and boisterous laughter, racing through life at breakneck speed, while I find myself trailing behind, winded and repeating, “Get down from there right now!” It often feels like our exchanges are nothing but chaos, as I set boundaries only for him to bulldoze right through them. Most days, if I’m honest, he seems to be winning this tug-of-war of wills.
I often feel like I’m the worn-out rope of a tire swing, swinging higher and faster, and it terrifies me to think I might snap under the pressure. How do I continue parenting amidst what feels like constant defiance? What happens when my last ounce of patience spills over from the cup I’m desperately trying to balance?
Just yesterday morning, I prayed for the strength to love my son well. I sought guidance, hoping to bridge the gap between the chaos and the calm.
Later that evening, while scrolling through photos from a recent family trip, I stumbled upon a snapshot of him. There he was, my spirited child, joyfully splashing in the ocean waves with the exuberance of a thousand suns. He is my little King Leo, and our world is indeed a realm of adventure. The moment he entered the world, a royal romp began.
As I gazed at that fiery spirit captured in a small image, I felt a gentle whisper in my heart, answering my morning prayer. Those waves I admired? They are both stunning and wild, crashing and roaring in a seemingly chaotic dance. Yet, beneath the surface, there’s a quiet force guiding them, creating harmony among the tumult.
Just as the moon influences the ocean, I realized my role as a mother is to remain present amidst the chaos. It’s not about taming his spirit, but rather about guiding him toward order, allowing his wildness to flourish.
Moms, let’s remind ourselves that we will never completely tame the sea. We should give ourselves—and our little ones—some grace. There’s a place in this world for both calm and chaos, and both serve a purpose.
Today, I choose to take a step back, embracing the waves and celebrating the extraordinary beauty within my adventurous child. Will you join me in this journey?
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Summary: The author reflects on the challenges and joys of parenting a spirited child, recognizing the balance between chaos and calm in their lives. Emphasizing the importance of patience and presence, she encourages other parents to appreciate the wildness in their children while providing guidance and love.