I came into this world in 1975, and by the time I was 7, my dad was playing in an adult baseball league. We would attend every game, and the only sun protection we had was a Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker I received as a holiday gift. My mom would hand my sisters and me cash for sodas and ring pops, and we roamed freely, pockets full of treats, creating our own adventures. My mother had no clue where we were or what mischief we were getting into.
Our summers were devoid of camps, rigid schedules, or reading lists. A day at the beach was only complete with a trip to McDonald’s. I vividly remember the afternoon my mother drove us into the fast-food parking lot, our blue Caprice Classic swaying, while I slid across the seat without a seatbelt, colliding with my sisters. We were still slick from the tanning oil I had doused myself in that day. After downing Hi-C drinks, we returned home to play on our tire swing until nightfall.
Our days were open, filled with opportunities to get our feet dirty, fend off mosquitoes, and indulge in sugary cereals and fruit pies. The daily mantra from my parents was simple: “Go outside and play.” And we did.
Homework wasn’t a burden; paperwork for parents was rare. Sports practices and games were right after school, and my parents never seemed overwhelmed by our schedules. Instead, I remember evenings spent watching the news with my father enjoying a Budweiser and my mother sipping her Tab.
As a teenager, my friends would come home with me on the bus after school. Our afternoons were spent glued to Nickelodeon, slurping instant ramen, making prank calls, and penning notes to friends or crushes. I would talk for hours on the phone, twisting the cord around my finger, discussing our outfits for the next day and the latest drama.
Reflecting on my childhood fills me with nostalgia, and I try to incorporate those cherished memories into my own parenting. Sometimes I wish for the simplicity of my upbringing in the ’80s and ’90s, but I realize that a blend of old and new is what works best.
I advocate for sunscreen and encourage my kids to choose extracurricular activities they love. I want them to experience the same freedoms I had, to seize opportunities. So, in our family, we’ve carved out a balance.
I’m guilty of letting them enjoy sugary cereals for breakfast. On warm afternoons, my son rides his bike around town with friends, and while I appreciate modern technology that keeps us connected, I often don’t know his exact location. The scent of McDonald’s still brings back those summer days, so I take my kids there a few times a month. When my daughter is under the weather, she requests ramen, and I always oblige.
Yet, I can’t help but feel a twinge of guilt when my neighbor mentions her kids have never had a Happy Meal. When other kids are too busy with activities to join us for playdates, I start to wonder if I’m giving my children enough freedom.
Some days are filled with outdoor adventures, and I cherish that we don’t overload their schedules, allowing for tree climbing and exploration. Other days, I’m a frantic Uber driver, racing between various events. I’m thankful for these days too, as they provide my kids with opportunities that weren’t available to me.
Even when we have everything for a home-cooked meal, the craving for the smell of french fries and vanilla soft serve can be irresistible, prompting spontaneous outings to fast food joints. I might be more excited than they are to indulge in those treats.
I don’t believe today’s parents are doing it wrong, nor do I think parents from the ’80s had it all figured out. Each generation has its unique approach to parenting, and I’ve chosen to merge the best of both worlds.
Creating lasting memories while maintaining a busy schedule is possible. Just because your kids aren’t barefoot under the sprinkler doesn’t mean they’re being deprived of a fulfilling childhood. Likewise, encouraging outdoor play and indulging in ramen occasionally doesn’t equate to neglect.
One thing remains constant across the years: moderation is key. So, pass the Lucky Charms. Tomorrow, I’ll be roasting an organic chicken while juggling lacrosse practice and a coding club. For us, this is the perfect recipe for a happy family.
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Summary: This article reflects on the parenting styles of the ’80s compared to today, emphasizing that both eras have unique benefits. The author shares personal anecdotes from her childhood and highlights the importance of balance, freedom, and moderation in raising children. Modern parents can still create lasting memories while navigating busy schedules, proving that every approach can lead to a happy family life.