Having ADHD and an anxiety disorder is more common than you might think, and I’ve found that the combination often leads to a heavy dose of social awkwardness. I’ve always been that person who blurted out irrelevant answers. Even now, in graduate school, my partner likens me to a quirky character from a fantasy series—while it’s meant to be a compliment, I still find myself navigating social interactions with a sense of oblivion to the cues around me. It’s frustrating, annoying, and above all, awkward.
1. I Can Be Oblivious to My Odd Behavior.
In the detective show Sherlock, the titular character seems indifferent to social cues. I often wish I had a friend like John Watson to nudge me when I’m acting strangely. There are times when I’m happily lost in thought, unaware that someone is attempting to engage with me, or I might have an entire conversation with someone I’ve met before, completely forgetting we’ve done this dance already.
2. Yet, I’m Constantly Anxious About My Behavior.
After enough social blunders, I’ve learned that I don’t always understand the unspoken rules of interaction. Imagine running into a favorite barista at the mall—should I greet her? If so, what do I say? How long is this exchange supposed to last? Most people handle these moments with ease, but I often find myself wishing for a sudden emergency to distract me from the situation.
3. I’m Not Ignoring You—Really!
I have certain habits that might make me seem disinterested. I frequently check my phone—thanks, ADHD!—which feels rewarding in the moment. While I’m tapping away, I’m still tuned in; I’m also likely scanning for my kids and yelling at them to behave. In those moments, I truly don’t realize how my actions come across.
4. My Friends Share My Quirks.
From childhood to now, I’ve gravitated towards other socially awkward individuals. Whether it was the eccentric kids in school or the unique moms I connect with today, we share a bond over our oddities. Our conversations often jump from one strange topic to another, and we don’t conform to mainstream trends.
5. I Worry About My Kids Inheriting This Awkwardness.
Fortunately, my partner is quite the opposite of awkward, which gives me some hope. I dread the idea of my children picking up the same quirks that define my social interactions. For instance, will they struggle to relate to peers, especially if they’re engrossed in niche interests like historical figures? Will they have friends who accept them?
6. I’m Forgetful—Like, Really Forgetful.
When I say I forget things, I don’t just mean I misplaced my keys. I might forget that we’ve met before or struggle to remember your kids’ names and interests. This forgetfulness makes small talk feel daunting. I often become anxious, picking at my cuticles or checking my phone as a way to cope.
7. I Might Interject Random Thoughts.
My thought process is anything but linear; I might unexpectedly pivot from one topic to another in conversation. It’s part of my ADHD and my social awkwardness. I hope others can smoothly transition back to the original topic, but often, they look at me like I’m out of my mind.
8. I Offer Unintentional Compliments.
When I see something I like, I can’t help but express it, even to strangers. However, I quickly second-guess whether I’ve crossed a line, fearing I might seem overly familiar or awkward.
9. I Obsess Over Social Exchanges.
If I’ve interacted with someone, I’ll likely replay the conversation repeatedly in my head, scrutinizing every word for potential faux pas. This anxiety often leads me to believe that the other person dislikes me, even if that’s far from the truth.
10. I Struggle to Read Other People.
I often misinterpret social signals, which compounds my anxiety. For example, there’s someone I know who appears tough on the outside, but I repeatedly convince myself that she thinks poorly of me. These interactions lead to self-doubt until I remind myself that it’s just her demeanor.
11. I Tend to Overshare.
When I talk, I often dominate the conversation, sharing too much personal information. Casual acquaintances don’t need to know the details of my parenting choices or my eccentric interests. I forget that some topics might be considered strange or inappropriate.
In summary, being socially awkward is challenging. Building new friendships and connecting with strangers can feel like navigating a minefield, filled with anxiety over trivial details. You might find yourself worrying about your children’s social skills, fearing that friends are judging you, or that random people think you need a personality overhaul. It’s isolating, yet you’re likely not alone in this experience.
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