My Son’s Photo Went Viral, but There’s So Much More to Our Journey: The Tale of Ethan and Finn

self insemination kit

It has been a decade since I lost one of my twin boys to undiagnosed twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome (TTTS), and life has undeniably moved forward. The loss of Finn was a heart-wrenching experience, but I found the strength to keep going.

I pursued a career in nursing and welcomed three more children into our family, in addition to our surviving identical twin, Ethan. Life for Ethan has progressed as well. He has thrived academically, winning the spelling bee in his class. He plays as a safety on his football team and pitches for his baseball team, proudly wearing the number 6. Why that number? Because both Ethan and Finn were born on March 6. He cherishes friendships and loves his family, and everyone who knows him understands that Ethan has a twin brother named Finn.

When I was first approached about sharing the poignant photo I captured of Ethan at Finn’s grave, it felt like an obvious choice. It was a beautiful representation of the bond between twins and the love they share. It also highlighted the devastating impact that TTTS can have on families. If sharing our story could educate others about the silent thief that took my son, and Ethan’s twin, I was more than willing. For four years, we had been participating in an annual walk to raise awareness and funds for our cause. By opening up, we hoped to help other families heal.

I never anticipated the photo would capture hearts across social media, spreading from England and the U.S. to Germany, Slovakia, Indonesia, Israel, and Japan. I was astounded to see it everywhere. It resonated with many, reflecting the beauty I witnessed five years ago when I saw my son speaking to his twin brother at his grave about starting school.

For a fleeting moment, I thought that everyone would understand and empathize with our story. But then I stumbled upon some of the online comments.

While the majority were positive and supportive, a few derogatory remarks were also present: “This mother needs help,” “Somebody assist this family; they are unwell,” “This child is depressed,” or “This is staged. This child never knew his brother.”

I found myself retreating to my room, overwhelmed with tears, questioning whether those commentators had ever met my son. Ethan is the child who lights up when he talks about Finn, who excitedly shares his Elvis collection because Elvis was also a surviving twin. He is friendly and always eager to lend a hand.

Ethan is not depressed. If I had ever noticed signs of sadness in him, do these critics think I would ignore it? Would I permit the sharing of those photos or allow him to dedicate so much time to fundraising if it caused him distress? It’s a delicate balance between honoring Finn’s memory and ensuring that Ethan develops his own identity. While Finn is an integral part of who Ethan is, he does not define him entirely.

Despite the hurt inflicted by strangers, I am now more committed than ever to sharing our story. I want to demonstrate that we will not be held back by those who are so unhappy in their own lives that they choose to judge my family harshly. We did not choose these shoes we wear, but we wear them with pride, leaving Finn’s mark as we move forward.

The boys recently turned ten, and Ethan celebrated in a way I never could have predicted when I first shared that photo on Facebook. He helped raise awareness about TTTS while also ensuring that Finn’s legacy lives on. From the start, it was always Ethan and Finn, but after losing Finn, it became just Ethan that we brought home. For a brief moment, as our story traveled worldwide, it felt like it was once again Ethan and Finn.

Now, two months later, Ethan is fully immersed in baseball season, back to being the joyful, wonderful kid he is. We discuss the articles that have been written about us, but life goes on, as it always does. Perhaps in Ethan’s heart, he understands that Finn is at peace, our story has been told, and their mission has been accomplished.

While our journey may not resonate with everyone, it is uniquely ours and we take pride in it. We are proud to have shared the love between two brothers, and in turn, the world has gifted us a lasting legacy for Finn.

For more insights on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy. If you’re looking to boost fertility, you can find valuable information at Make a Mom. And for additional stories surrounding family and parenting, visit our other post on Intracervical Insemination.

Summary:

This article recounts the journey of Jenna Lawson, who lost one of her twin sons, Finn, to TTTS. Despite this heartbreaking loss, she has continued to celebrate the life of her surviving twin, Ethan, who has excelled in school and sports while acknowledging his brother’s memory. After sharing a touching photo of Ethan at Finn’s grave, their story went viral, sparking both support and negative criticism. Jenna reflects on the importance of their bond, the resilience of their family, and the legacy they wish to create for Finn.