I’m Done Being the In-House Maid, So I’m Hiring Help

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Updated: November 9, 2020
Originally Published: May 2, 2017

Here we go again.

My home is spotless. I’ve taken the time to organize everything, scrub every corner, and for just a brief moment, it shines. The air is infused with a synthetic scent reminiscent of a tropical rainforest. We can lounge on the couch without our clothing gathering enough pet hair to fill an accent pillow. Everyone drifts off to sleep in neatly made beds with freshly cleaned sheets, dressed in cozy pajamas.

And all of this comes at the cost of my entire day—time I should have spent with my kids, but instead, I plopped them in front of the TV, sacrificing my free moments for days and likely an entire weekend too.

The kicker? I have two little ones, and by the time morning rolls around, the house is an absolute disaster once again. It’s enough to drive any woman to a life of sweatpants and constant stress.

No one openly claims they are becoming a housewife nowadays. I didn’t choose to be the keeper of my home; I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. The title has evolved, but the responsibilities have only multiplied. My role isn’t solely about maintaining a tidy house. It’s about preparing nutritious meals that involve chopping an insane amount of veggies. It’s about engaging with my kids and cherishing these fleeting moments while they simultaneously seem to drag on.

You know why women in the 1950s had immaculate homes? Because they weren’t burdened with all of these additional responsibilities. They threw some ground beef and cream of mushroom soup into a casserole dish, and voilà—dinner was served. Their children kept themselves entertained, often outside poking at random things until it was time to come home for that casserole. And let’s not forget the patriarchy, but that’s a discussion for another day.

I’m not someone who thrives in chaos. My house can be chaotic often, but my mental state tends to escalate to a high alert when it’s messy. Once I finally get the house back in order, I’m so worn out that I can hardly relax for more than a few moments.

So I’ve made my decision. It’s time for a change, and I should have done this long ago.

I’m hiring a housekeeper.

Absolutely, I am.

I want to focus on being a mom. I want to create healthy meals for my family. I want to carve out time for myself to do things like exercise, so I don’t turn into a stiff statue in my 40s. Maybe I could even take a shower? But all of these desires always seem to take a backseat to domestic chores, and I’m tired of neglecting what truly matters—especially when some of those priorities include my own well-being.

Every two weeks, a professional will come to my home to clean baseboards, vacuum and mop floors, scrub bathrooms, and shine windows. I will have someone else handle the dusting, tidying, and disinfecting. I’ll still manage the everyday upkeep, but without the overwhelming stress of tackling the big tasks.

I’ve contemplated making this leap countless times, but I always hold back. It feels foolish to spend money on chores I could be doing myself. But here’s the reality: I’m not doing them. The likelihood of my habits changing tomorrow is minimal. However, the chances of improving my daily life are substantial if I eliminate the nagging feeling that I should be folding laundry instead of engaging with my kids or pursuing work that I enjoy.

We aren’t swimming in cash, but I can make this work by cutting back in other areas and adhering to a tighter budget. I will make it happen.

With the immense pressure women place on each other and ourselves to constantly perform at full capacity, something has to give. I’m tired of that something being my health and happiness, sacrificed at the altar of household chores.

I won’t feel guilt. I won’t feel shame. I will only feel exhilarated about having extra time in my days to do whatever I want. (Spoiler: It won’t involve dusting.)

This piece was originally shared on May 2, 2017.

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Summary: This article reflects on the author’s decision to hire a housekeeper to alleviate the stress of household chores, allowing her to focus on parenting and self-care. It emphasizes the importance of personal well-being amidst the pressures of modern motherhood.