Recently, I was speaking with a colleague, Jake, who is in his early 30s and a new dad. He expressed concern over his 6-month-old daughter’s reliance on her pacifier. “She can’t sleep without it, and I’m hesitant to buy more because I’ve heard it’s tough to break that habit later,” he shared nervously.
We were in his cramped office, and he looked about as comfortable as a fish out of water. Jake is a big guy, a former athlete, and definitely not the type you’d expect to show signs of anxiety. Yet there he was, worried that his daughter might end up addicted to a pacifier, as if that were a real issue outside of the party scene.
I raised my hands and said, “Don’t sweat it.”
He gave me a confused look, similar to what many new parents wear when they think they’re being told to abandon all parental responsibility. It was the kind of expression that comes from hours of poring over parenting guides and scrutinizing nutrition labels in stores, all while their little ones toss tantrums for snacks that are far from nutritious. And the seasoned parents watching from afar know that the kids will inevitably choose mac and cheese over quinoa any day.
But here’s the essential truth about parenting: you don’t need to surrender completely, but you also shouldn’t stress over trivial matters like pacifiers or the occasional junk food. If you let yourself get caught up in overthinking, you’ll find yourself exhausted and anxious, trying to control every tiny detail. Kids have their own agenda; your role is to guide them gently.
“Listen, man,” I advised. “I’ve got three kids and have been a parent for a decade. We used to worry about all that too. Every one of our kids was a pacifier junkie. And you know what? They eventually outgrew it.”
“What happened then?” Jake asked.
“Nothing at all. It was just a phase. Why stress over a piece of plastic? It’s a comfort item. You should actually buy more! Stock up. It’ll make life easier.”
I added, “Want to know a parenting secret? Mac and cheese. Just lean into it. Buy a ton of it. It’ll be fine. The same goes for pacifiers and other minor issues.”
He didn’t seem thrilled with my response, and honestly, I wouldn’t have been either. When my wife and I first became parents, we often got worked up over the small stuff. However, we eventually realized that some battles simply aren’t worth the hassle. For instance, my toddler loves to remove her shoes during car rides. I could get frustrated and try to tape them to her feet, but it’s futile. Instead, I just let her go barefoot in the cart—it’s no big deal.
What I’m getting at is that parenting is all about choosing your battles wisely. That means sometimes it’s okay to stock up on pacifiers, let your child go shoeless, or send your son to school with a messy hairstyle. It’s all part of the journey.
If you’re a new parent, keep in mind that not everything is worth stressing over. The most valuable lesson I’ve learned is that it’s about spending quality time with your children. Watch movies together, lie on the floor and let them crawl over you, or snuggle when you come home from work. That’s what truly counts.
After a moment of silence, Jake seemed to ponder my words. Parenting is indeed a serious subject, especially for new parents who worry about every little detail.
“I mean it,” I emphasized. “Just give your daughter pacifiers. Have them everywhere. Don’t resist. Once she’s happily sucking on one, take the time to snuggle with her. That’s what matters most. When she’s ready to let them go, you’ll know, and it won’t take long for her to move on to something else. In the meantime, cherish those snuggles. Everything will be alright.”