A Note to the One Who Said, “You’re Just Like Your Mother”

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Last week, I was struck by a comment that echoed in my mind: “You’re just like your mother. Pathetic.” It’s astonishing how a few words can shake your entire existence, isn’t it?

Reflecting on my upbringing, I realize how those words hit harder because they tapped into the complexities of my past. I was raised by my mother, a single parent, who endured countless challenges. We moved often and faced difficult circumstances that many would find overwhelming. Yes, we relied on family for support, and it truly does take a village to navigate life’s hurdles.

Our financial struggles often left me feeling embarrassed, especially during moments when I had to use food stamps or when I was identified as the “poor kid” in school. It was easy to stand out among peers from “normal” families. I witnessed my mother’s hardships firsthand, including the trauma of domestic violence and the overwhelming pain that came with it. I will never forget the day I held her in the hospital, 16 years ago, when we faced the devastating aftermath of my stepfather’s suicide.

There were times I wished for a different childhood, one without the scars of poverty and trauma. But as I grew older, I began to appreciate those very experiences. I became grateful for the struggles that shaped me. They taught me the importance of gratitude, empathy, and resilience.

It was through adversity that I learned to dream big and work hard for what I have. The fear of not having a safety net instilled in me a relentless drive to succeed. The challenges I faced transformed into strengths, fueling my ambition and determination.

I owe much of my success to my mother. Her unwavering spirit and work ethic have profoundly influenced who I am and who I aspire to be, both personally and as a parent. Regardless of our relationship’s ups and downs, she will always hold a special place in my heart.

To those who think negatively of her, I stand firm: My mother is not pathetic. She is resilient, enduring, and always had my best interests at heart. We must recognize and appreciate the incredible women in our lives—those who do their best with what they have, even if they are not perfect.

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Summary

The author reflects on a hurtful statement made about her and her mother, exploring how her challenging upbringing shaped her into the person she is today. Through adversity, she gained resilience, gratitude, and a strong work ethic, ultimately recognizing the strength and importance of her mother in her life.