Pregnancy can feel miraculous. Just three days after a spontaneous night of intimacy, I had a strong intuition that I was expecting our second child. At 35, it seemed improbable, but my instincts were spot on. Even before confirming with a test, I started calculating the due date, which was lined up for early December—meaning our family would welcome a September baby.
Today, being born in September carries a weight of considerations. As the due date approached, the anticipation grew, especially when I learned I was having a boy. The thought of a September boy led to conversations with other moms, where I noticed a shift in their demeanor when they asked, “What will you do about school?”
Many mothers who chose to hold their sons back were thrilled with their decision. Conversely, those who didn’t and faced the need for their children to repeat a grade expressed regret. They urged me to contemplate the potential benefits of delaying my son’s entry into school, citing reasons such as fine motor skills, emotional maturity, and social development. A common refrain emerged about boys—being older, taller, and faster had its advantages.
As an educator with years of classroom experience and now teaching at a university level, I hold a doctorate in special education. Yet, this knowledge didn’t automatically translate into clear answers for my own parenting choices. I understood that kindergarten expectations have evolved, becoming more rigorous than before. This knowledge made my decision particularly daunting.
Ultimately, I resolved to delay my September boy’s start in kindergarten, but not for the reasons one might assume.
As registration approached in January, I found myself wrestling with the decision. Starting him too early could lead to challenges, but waiting could also have its pitfalls. On some days, I wished for a third option. I knew I had to combine my professional insights with my son’s readiness. Observing him became central to my decision-making process.
My September boy was bright and capable, likely able to thrive in kindergarten at just 4 years old. Yet, one morning, I witnessed him deeply engaged in building a Lego suspension bridge, his head resting on the floor as he focused intently on his creation. In that moment, I realized this was not merely a decision I had to make—it was a choice I could make. I recognized that he had the advantage of time, and I was determined to provide him that gift.
For the next year, we embraced this opportunity. Instead of the typical school morning routine, we enjoyed leisurely mornings, staying in our pajamas until nearly 8:15 a.m. We took our time getting to preschool, opting for scenic routes. Rather than facing lengthy hours of structured learning, my son reveled in unstructured play, imaginative dress-up, and many relaxed Fridays at home. He wasn’t burdened with navigating crowded hallways or bustling cafeterias. Instead, he savored classroom lunches and learned to pour his own milk.
The demands placed on today’s school-aged children are substantial, and being born in September can amplify these pressures. While I am not one to challenge the status quo, I felt compelled to shield my child from its impacts.
Choosing to delay my son’s kindergarten start was undoubtedly the right decision for our family. As the school year comes to a close, I see that granting him the gift of time has been invaluable. He began his educational journey when he was truly ready, leading to a confident, enthusiastic attitude towards learning. His love for school blossomed in a way I doubt would have been possible without that extra year. I gave him a head start, but not one related to physical attributes. Instead, my priority was his happiness, and I would choose joy over speed any day.
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In summary, my decision to delay my son’s kindergarten entry was rooted in a desire to prioritize his emotional and social development over academic pressures. By allowing him more time to grow and play, I fostered a love of learning that will serve him well in the future.