When I was a child, my mom would ask me to do the dishes, and I would stomp my way to the sink, grumbling to myself, “The only reason you had kids was so someone else could handle the dirty work.” Now that I’m a parent, I realize how absurd that sentiment was. People don’t have kids just for the sake of delegating chores. They have kids so they can share in the endless cycle of household tasks—washing dishes, walking the dog, cleaning up after themselves, and all the mundane responsibilities that come with running a home. It’s practically a given. Kids are essentially free labor, and teaching them to pitch in is beneficial for their development, instilling a sense of work ethic and responsibility. When I ask my kids to help out, I’m not just being a good parent; I’m also freeing up my time for more important pursuits, like saving ideas on Pinterest that I’ll probably never use.
Keeping a household functioning smoothly is no small feat, so I recently made a pivotal decision: my kids are going to start contributing. If they’re going to use all my supplies, run up my data plan with their devices, and raid the pantry until it’s barren, they might as well lend a hand while enjoying their rent-free lifestyle.
Until now, they’ve had it pretty cushy. Sure, they’ve had chores, but those have mostly revolved around cleaning up their own messes: making their beds, clearing their plates after meals, and so on. Despite my best efforts—okay, nagging—to remind them to tidy up after themselves, I often find myself spending a significant amount of time picking up their crumbs, retrieving socks from under beds, and fishing out wrappers stuffed between the cushions because the trash can is “too far away.”
I’ve always opted to handle things myself because, in the short term, it felt easier. I’ve been doing these chores so long that they’ve become second nature. I’ve figured out the most efficient way to scrub the toilet and vacuum the carpet. However, by taking on the bulk of the work, I’m not doing myself or my children any favors. If I don’t teach them how to manage these tasks or set the expectation that they have to contribute, I’m essentially telling them it’s not their responsibility. And it absolutely is. I refuse to raise a bunch of moody, messy teenagers who equate “Mom” with “maid,” or worse, let them grow into lazy adults who leave their dirty laundry for their partner to deal with. The thought alone makes me shudder.
So, I’ve decided it’s time for my kids to help out more with chores. There’s just one small hiccup: I have high standards when it comes to cleanliness, and they are young kids who couldn’t care less about tidiness. Honestly, if I replaced our couch with a mountain of empty pizza boxes, they would just find a way to make it a new gaming spot.
For everyone’s sake, I’m putting my perfectionism on hold while I watch them stumble through their chores—slowly, and often with complaints. It’s exasperating. As they attempt to scoop the litter box, I observe with my mouth shut, biting my tongue to keep from interrupting. My mind races with thoughts: “Get that one! No, not all at once! Oh my gosh, now it’s on his hands!”
When they’re pouring in too much detergent during laundry, I can almost see the bubbles overflowing. It could take them longer to clean a toilet than it would take me to enjoy a complete spa day—if I had the time to enjoy one! But no matter how long it takes or how clumsy they might be, I remind myself to stay quiet and let them learn. Sometimes, I might offer a helpful tip, but the reality is that they need to figure it out themselves. It’s about stepping back, letting go, and allowing them to develop these essential skills. Unfortunately.
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In summary, teaching kids to help with chores is a challenging yet necessary task. It’s crucial to instill a sense of responsibility in them while allowing them to learn and grow, even if it means enduring some messy moments along the way.