“Just like no two snowflakes are alike and every individual has a distinct set of fingerprints, autism comes in various forms,” I explain to my 12-year-old son, Alex. As he matures, he increasingly notices others who share his diagnosis.
“Mom, there’s this kid at my tutoring session who acts oddly. He just gets up and rummages through the teacher’s belongings without asking,” he says, a hint of concern in his voice.
I acknowledge his observation, knowing the deeper conversation is on the horizon. My focus remains on the road.
“He also has autism like me. Does that mean I’m weird too?”
“Remember, every person’s experience with autism is unique. It’s a spectrum, just like a rainbow. Some are at one end, searching for the pot of gold, while others are just beginning to float above the clouds. There are many different travelers in between.”
He gazes out the car window, contemplating my words.
“What about Liam from school? He’s hurt other kids, and he has autism. I never touch anyone!”
“Yes, I’m aware. His autism manifests through aggressive behavior.”
I brace myself for the next question, knowing he has a knack for cutting through any pretense. I appreciate his directness; honesty is his foundation.
“How can you be sure I have autism? If everyone else is so different, maybe I don’t have it.”
I tighten my grip on the steering wheel, ready for this vital discussion. My son is perceptive and deserves nothing less than the truth. I miss the days when vague answers could suffice.
“Do you remember Dr. Jennings?” I ask, referring to the specialist who diagnosed him a couple of years ago.
“Yeah.”
“Remember all the assessments and questions you worked through with her? Those evaluations are specifically designed to identify autism. Based on your responses, her observations, and input from me, Dad, and your school, she confidently determined that you are on the autism spectrum.”
As rain begins to sprinkle on the windshield, the rhythmic swish of the wipers fills the silence. The sun has set, and the traffic lights glow brighter against the darkening sky. Alex sits quietly, watching the raindrops race down the glass.
“How did I get autism?” he asks.
“Well, you don’t catch it like a cold. It’s something you’re born with,” I reply, relieved he’s opening up about these questions instead of keeping them bottled up.
“Why do I have autism when no one else in our family does?”
“You know how everyone is made up of chromosomes with a mix of dominant and recessive genes? Like how your uncle has brown hair while your cousin has red? It’s just how those genes combine that makes each person unique, even when they share parents. Just like you love history, and your sister doesn’t. Those differences make us who we are.”
He seems to accept my explanation. As we drive through the rain-soaked intersection, my heart aches for him. He’s striving to comprehend his place on the spectrum, a concept that can be elusive and challenging to articulate to a 12-year-old trying to navigate the world and find where he fits.
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In summary, autism is a complex and diverse condition, with each individual’s experience being distinct. It’s essential to foster understanding and acceptance, as discussions about autism can help those affected feel more connected and validated.