Foster Parent Shares the Heartache of Parting with a Cherished Child

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Being a parent is undeniably challenging, but being a foster parent requires an extraordinary level of resilience. Opening your home and heart to a child, knowing that you may eventually have to say goodbye, is a unique kind of bravery.

Emily Roberts knows this sentiment all too well. In a heartfelt post shared on the page Love What Matters, the foster mom opened up about the emotional turmoil of bidding farewell to a baby girl who had been part of her family for the last six months. “We didn’t win this battle,” she expressed. “And by ‘lost,’ I mean I didn’t get what I wished for.”

Emily reflected on the time her family spent with the baby girl, who was their first foster child. Now, as the little one prepares to reunite with her sisters, Emily grapples with concerns about how her beloved foster daughter will adjust to her new surroundings. “I hope they realize she has a little quirk, like needing a soft pillow to settle down and sleep well,” she mused. “Otherwise, she might fuss and wake up all night trying to find comfort. I wonder if they’ll understand her love for fist bumps before bedtime, which always makes her giggle.”

She reminisced about teaching the baby sign language, feeling a pang of sadness knowing that she wouldn’t be able to continue those lessons. “If they ask her, she’ll sign ‘please’ to let them know when she’s finished eating. I hadn’t gotten to ‘thank you’ yet, but that was next on my list.”

Emily also struggled to explain the situation to her biological son, who was understandably confused. “But we’re her brothers,” he replied, highlighting the complexity of the situation. She found it difficult to convey that the baby would be going to live with her siblings. “I could see that my explanation didn’t resonate with him. It just doesn’t add up—not to him and certainly not to me,” she admitted.

As the moment of farewell approached, Emily showered her foster daughter with love, filling her sippy cup and giving her a calming lavender-scented bath. “I told her I loved her, holding her close until she squirmed from the tight hug,” she shared. “She loves hugs but dislikes being held too tightly. I wonder how long it will take her new family to figure that out.”

Her poignant words resonate deeply, and it would be understandable if Emily felt that fostering was too painful to continue. “The heartbreak is overwhelming tonight. The tears keep flowing,” she confided. “This initial loss is more painful than I ever imagined, and it’s something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.”

Yet, despite the challenges, Emily finds the journey worthwhile. Her warrior spirit shines through as she expresses no regrets about her decision to foster and is determined to do it again. “So, the next time I see that familiar phone number pop up on my caller ID, asking if we can open our hearts to another child who needs us, I already know my answer,” she stated with conviction. “Absolutely. Let’s do this. Whether it’s for six months or forever… we’re in.”

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Summary

Emily Roberts shares the emotional experience of saying goodbye to her first foster child, reflecting on the love and lessons they shared. Despite the heartache, she remains committed to fostering again, demonstrating the profound impact that loving a child, even for a short time, can have on a caregiver’s life.