Last Thursday morning, I whipped up some scrambled eggs, fruit, and toast for my two little ones. At ages 4 and almost 2, it’s a quick breakfast that I know they’ll devour. I don’t often resort to cereal, not because of the sugar content, but because my youngest finds joy in flipping the bowl of milk and cereal over her head. I’d rather do a bit of cooking than face the chaos of cleaning up cereal milk and giving her an extra bath.
While they enjoyed their breakfast, I tidied up around the house, gathering dirty towels and swapping them for fresh ones—then I eagerly anticipated a knock at my door.
You see, I recently penned an article about hiring a housekeeper, and Thursday marked her first day. Cleaning days can be overwhelming with two adults, two children, two cats, and a dog. But today, a lovely woman arrived to take care of the heavy lifting for me. I ensured the house was organized, but the scrubbing, vacuuming, dusting, and mopping were finally off my plate. I passed over the reins.
She’ll be here every two weeks, and the relief is already immense. I now know that even after a challenging or busy week—or if I’m feeling under the weather—I can reset my home environment.
As our new housekeeper got to work, I sat down to color with my son while we waited for my daughter to wake from her nap. The following morning, I felt refreshed instead of drained from juggling housework and parenting. It was a wonderfully smooth Friday, a rarity in my recent memory.
We were heading out for a family wedding weekend, and I was not stressed about returning to a messy home. Rather than cleaning the day before, I focused on packing. For the first time ever, my family left on time for a road trip!
Most changes in life take a while to evaluate, but it was clear that hiring a housekeeper was the best decision for my family.
When I shared my thoughts about hiring help, the response was largely positive. Many commenters expressed their own satisfaction with housekeepers or mentioned that they would consider it if finances allowed. However, some took offense to my decision, suggesting that I was privileged (which I fully acknowledge) or even lazy. Others questioned why I would pay someone to do work I was capable of handling—essentially viewing it as “women’s work.”
What these critics miss is that housework is often unfairly assigned to the parent who spends the most time at home, which is usually the mother. This outdated notion suggests that the stay-at-home parent should shoulder the bulk of domestic responsibilities, even when both partners contribute to the household.
Let’s be clear: if you stay at home to care for children, you are making a financial contribution. If you manage errands, appointments, and budgeting, you are adding value to your household. Childcare can be as pricey as a mortgage, and all the tasks that typically fall to mothers are valuable and time-consuming. It’s time we stop viewing housework as a penance for not being the primary breadwinner.
And the idea that I am somehow disrespecting my husband by hiring help? He deserves more credit than that. My husband understands the demands of parenting and recognizes that I save us money by managing our household in a way that allows me to focus on other important aspects of our lives. He respects my decisions about how I manage my time, and I extend the same respect to him.
So no, I won’t be conforming to outdated expectations about maintaining my marriage. If you think you need to chastise me for hiring a housekeeper, kindly take your opinion elsewhere.
If you think this is an easy way out, let me clarify: I am actively advocating for my gifted and autistic son within the school system. Just last night, I spent over four hours on the phone with various educational professionals, seeking advice and making appointments. This morning involved multiple calls with lawyers, advocates, and therapists. I’m working hard to ensure he receives the accommodations he needs.
The idea that hiring a housekeeper means my children have a free pass from responsibilities is misguided. They are learning to pick up their toys and help with meals. They witness me cleaning regularly, ensuring that our home remains tidy even beyond the housekeeper’s visits.
Even if I were to have all the time in the world, what would it matter to you? Why does it trouble some people that I have made a personal choice that differs from theirs? It seems many believe that mothers should remain home, maintain immaculate houses, and have dinner ready when their husbands return. They expect women to embrace this lifestyle without complaint, and somehow feel entitled to dictate how I should manage my household and relationship.
What I believe is that the world would be better off if strangers online didn’t presume to tell me how to maintain my marriage to justify my choices.
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In summary, hiring a housekeeper has become a practical and empowering decision for me and my family. It has freed up my time for important tasks, alleviated stress, and allowed us all to contribute to our home in meaningful ways. Let’s move past the outdated notions of household duties and embrace the choices that work for us.