Updated: June 7, 2023
Originally Published: May 13, 2023
Just the other day, I opened my phone to find a flurry of notifications lighting up my screen. A college buddy had liked my throwback pictures, an uncle sent another political meme, and there it was — a friend request from none other than Kelly Smith. What the heck?!
My palms went a bit sweaty. Here I was, 32 years old, yet I still felt a wave of anxiety wash over me upon seeing the name of my high school tormentor. Despite years of personal growth and therapy, one little notification was enough to transport me back to those awkward cafeteria days, desperately searching for a table far from the girls who made my teenage years unbearable. And there she was: Kelly. Unbelievable.
Her profile picture looked like it could have been pulled from our senior yearbook, albeit with a cute curly-haired toddler at her side. Curiosity piqued, I clicked over to her profile.
So what has Kelly been up to all these years? It turns out, she graduated from nursing school, married her college sweetheart, and now has a beautiful family. From the looks of her posts, she genuinely seems to love her job as a nurse in a pediatric oncology unit. Talk about life taking a turn for the better for Kelly Smith.
I hovered over the “reject” button for a moment, imagining the sweet taste of justice it would bring to deny this girl who had rejected me so many times during my formative years. Sure, rejecting her wouldn’t erase the scars of high school, but it felt like a small victory waiting to happen.
But then I hesitated. Don’t get me wrong; I have a flair for the dramatic and a knack for imagining karma being served on a silver platter. Yet, as I mulled over her profile, memories of a college encounter flooded back.
At a party one night, I sat next to a girl we’ll call Jenny, who was a new breed of mean girl. Where I brought my guitar, she brought a beer funnel. Jenny was the kind of person who could make you feel like a total nobody with just a glance. Ultimately, she even had a brief fling with my boyfriend, which didn’t help my feelings toward her.
But that night, as we sat together under the stars, Jenny shared her story. She confided about her troubled childhood — a girl who faced abuse and found herself in foster care, never truly knowing love. Her meanness was a shield, masking her vulnerabilities. She acknowledged her behavior and apologized, and while we didn’t become friends, I walked away with a new understanding of the pain that can drive someone to hurt others.
So when Kelly’s friend request popped up this week, I remembered that lesson. Everyone has their battles, and while some choose to lash out, it doesn’t mean they are inherently bad people. I’m in a different place now — a loving home filled with laughter and joy. I have no room for resentment or bitterness.
Instead of ignoring her request, I decided to hit “accept.” It felt like a small act of forgiveness, a way to let go of the past. And honestly, sending that virtual hug felt incredibly liberating.
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In summary, sometimes, unexpected moments can remind us of the lessons we’ve learned about empathy and forgiveness. Accepting a friend request from someone who once hurt us can be a way to reclaim our power and free ourselves from past burdens.