When children exhibit aggressive behaviors such as hitting, yelling, or biting, parents often interpret these actions through two primary lenses: as a sign of deep-rooted anger issues or a desperate need for release. However, Dr. Samuel Bright, a Child Psychology expert at Stanford University, argues that these outdated perspectives have been disproven by contemporary research. An angry child does not necessarily indicate they will grow into an angry adult, nor does it imply they will excel in sports. In fact, a child displaying aggression may not be angry at all.
“We’ve moved past these old notions because they’re not effective and lack support,” Bright states. “Many individuals who experience anger do not resort to violence. The underlying causes are often much more complex.” Bright, who directs the Stanford Parenting Institute, emphasizes that childhood aggression can stem from issues related to brain circuits responsible for impulse control, or the fact that engaging in, or witnessing, aggressive conduct can activate the same reward pathways in the brain that are stimulated by substances like drugs and food. It may also be influenced by genetic factors or exposure to violent media.
The Importance of Positive Reinforcement
In his work with highly aggressive children, Bright highlights the importance of parental engagement alongside the child’s aggressive behaviors. “Just like in any relationship, it’s normal to fixate on a single annoying trait rather than recognizing the multitude of positive qualities,” he explains. “Parents often overlook countless chances to acknowledge their child’s good behavior, such as saying, ‘You’ve done a fantastic job today!’”
Research supports the idea that positive reinforcement isn’t merely a trend. In fact, the belief that children are spoiled by excessive praise is misguided. “If you want your child to stop striking the wall, punishing that behavior is unlikely to yield results,” Bright asserts. “However, praising them for refraining from such actions can be highly effective.”
Utilizing Simulation Techniques
Another approach is utilizing simulation, a method Bright employs with particularly explosive children. This technique involves role-playing scenarios that typically trigger aggressive responses, enabling the child to practice appropriate reactions, such as crossing their arms and maintaining a stern expression. When they respond correctly, they receive specific praise, allowing their reactions to be refined over time. “Changing a child’s behavior isn’t about having them ‘understand’ the issue; that’s simply unrealistic,” asserts Bright. “They need to practice the appropriate behavior extensively. Just like mastering a piece by Rachmaninoff requires dedicated practice, so too does behavioral change.” Remarkably, brain scans during this practice demonstrate observable changes as the child improves.
Recognizing When to Seek Help
However, it is essential to recognize that not every child with aggressive tendencies requires the same approach. Some exhibit behaviors that may indicate underlying issues needing more serious intervention. “A key indicator is feedback from others, often from school,” Bright cautions. “If the behavior disrupts daily functioning, it’s a red flag.” In such cases, he recommends consulting a pediatrician, noting that nearly half of pediatric visits involve behavioral concerns, making family doctors a crucial first line of defense in identifying behaviors that require intervention. Fortunately, these medical professionals generally prioritize current research and are less likely to adhere to outdated methods of addressing aggression.
“Science isn’t infallible,” Bright chuckles. “But I’m committed to learning and improving.” For further guidance on behavioral issues, you can explore our other blog posts, including one on effective parenting strategies at this link.
Conclusion
In summary, managing aggressive behaviors in children can be approached through positive reinforcement and role-playing simulations. Both strategies emphasize practice and parental involvement, steering away from outdated punitive measures. Understanding the context and seeking professional help when necessary is also crucial in addressing these challenging behaviors.