Parenting is a challenging endeavor, and for those grappling with mental health issues, it can feel even more daunting. The stigma surrounding mental illness can leave mothers feeling isolated, as if no one truly comprehends their struggles. To shed light on this experience, we reached out to moms within our mental health community to share their perspectives on what they wish others understood about being a parent while living with mental illness. Every mother deserves empathy and support, and no one should face the journey of motherhood alone.
Insights from Our Courageous Moms
- “For me, attending social gatherings or playdates is incredibly overwhelming. If I seem distant, it’s not rudeness; I genuinely struggle to engage. After such events, I’m often left with a migraine and completely drained. My home might not always be spotless, but my child’s happiness and health come first. My mental health challenges don’t define me; they are part of my journey, and I strive to make the best of each day. Remember, everyone has their battles.” — Emma R.
- “Being honest with my children is essential. I talk to my 4-year-old about why I sometimes feel cranky or emotional. It’s better for them to know that their mom is unwell than to grow up thinking they are to blame for my feelings. This honesty has made my children empathetic beyond their years.” — Ava T.
- “There are moments when I need to step away from my kids. This doesn’t mean I love them any less; I just require solitude to recharge.” — Mia K.
- “I’m not lazy; my home’s disarray has explanations. There are days when merely getting out of bed feels like an accomplishment. Please ask me about my struggles instead of judging my parenting.” — Sarah L.
- “Not all mothers fit a specific mold. My depression and anxiety make social interactions challenging, but I still attend my children’s events to show support. I may appear overwhelmed, but I strive to be their biggest cheerleader.” — Jasmine W.
- “Having children doesn’t automatically solve mental health issues. When people suggest I should be happier because of my kids, it adds to my guilt and self-doubt about my parenting skills.” — Olivia M.
- “Mental illness can be a relentless battle. Some days I am on top of things, while on others, anxiety takes the reins. Just because I have good days doesn’t mean I’m free from my struggles.” — Chloe P.
- “I am capable of being a loving mother. My daughter is cared for, clothed, and cherished, even if we have quieter days at home.” — Lily H.
- “Asking for help doesn’t make me a bad parent.” — Zoe J.
- “The guilt is overwhelming. I often feel like I’m failing my kids for the smallest reasons. However, their smiles and hugs remind me of my strength. With the help of cognitive behavioral therapy, I’ve learned that even small interactions can uplift me.” — Hannah W.
- “There are days when I simply need to stay in bed. My depression can sap my energy, and while I wish my son had less screen time, some days it’s all I can manage. I hope my partner understands that a hard mental health day is just as taxing as a physical illness.” — Nora V.
- “When I ask for time alone, it’s not a reflection of my feelings towards my child. My anxiety makes me feel tense, and I need moments to breathe. Patience is appreciated as I navigate these feelings.” — Emma F.
- “I may not be the mom who remembers every school form or looks perfect at every event. But I’m the mom who rises every day to face my challenges and strives to provide my family with the best I can offer.” — Grace S.
- “Having mental health struggles doesn’t mean I’m neglectful or unsafe as a mother. I can still care deeply for my children.” — Mia L.
- “I’ve had open conversations with my kids about my mental health. Hiding it only caused more pain; being transparent has helped us all.” — Laura D.
- “I pour all my energy into my children. That’s why I might skip social functions; I’ve already exhausted myself caring for them.” — Tara G.
- “I’m just like other moms; my daily challenges are often intensified by my mental health. If I seem off, it’s not because I don’t care; it’s just part of my journey.” — Kelly B.
- “I can manage my mental health and still be a good mom. There are days when it’s tough, but I strive to be present and loving.” — Rachel A.
- “I need preparation time for outings with my child. My OCD complicates this process, but it doesn’t diminish my love for her.” — Jessica N.
- “The most crucial thing to understand is that I can be a loving mom despite my mental illness. My condition doesn’t diminish my capacity to care for my child.” — Amanda C.
- “My child is my greatest joy. With the right treatment, I can be the mother my daughter deserves.” — Sophie R.
- “I refuse to hide my struggles from my child. I want him to see that overcoming challenges is possible.” — Lila P.
- “My mental health issues don’t dictate my ability to care for my child.” — Sarah A.
- “My experiences with anxiety and depression have shaped me into a more appreciative mother. My journey toward help was motivated by my children.” — Alicia N.
- “I wish my kids could see that I give my all, even on tough days. Despite setbacks with treatment, the good days outweigh the bad.” — MaryAnn L.
Additionally, from the perspective of a daughter: “Though I’m not a mom, I’ve seen my mom grapple with feelings of inadequacy due to her depression and anxiety. I often remind her of the amazing mother she is. It’s crucial to support all mothers, as we can’t always see their inner battles.” — Sara F.
This article originally appeared on May 17, 2017.
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In summary, parenting while managing mental health challenges is a complex journey filled with unique struggles and triumphs. These insights from mothers reveal that love, resilience, and understanding remain at the forefront of their experiences.