Menu | Lifestyle
Excuse Me While I Embrace Kale AND Processed Foods
by Jenna Collins
Updated: May 17, 2023
Originally Published: May 17, 2023
Recently, I shared a snapshot of my kids reveling in ice cream sandwiches after dinner. The caption read:
“Years ago, I could easily spend an hour in the grocery store’s ice cream aisle, opening and closing every freezer door, pulling out cartons only to put them back. My mind would race, dissecting every nutrition label. Too many calories here, too much sugar there. I typically left with the lowest-calorie, lowest-fat ice cream substitute I could find, all while battling a panic attack. My eating disorder turned grocery shopping into a source of crippling anxiety.
Once the ice cream made its way to my freezer, it became a haunting presence. I felt compelled to toss it out or consume it all and then purge. What I truly craved was to silence the chaos in my mind. I longed for ice cream to simply be ice cream, free from the clutches of my eating disorder.
Fast forward seven years: today, I glide through the grocery aisles, tossing avocados, black beans, and yes, ice cream sandwiches into my cart. As I hurried to checkout, I couldn’t wait to get home to unload before picking up the kids.
Many parents I encounter limit sweets or exclude them entirely from their homes. It’s crucial we provide our children with a variety of foods and refrain from labeling them as “good” or “bad.” Food is just food—no moral value attached. All foods fit! When certain foods are denied, it creates a hierarchy that can lead to guilt and shame around those foods. It’s vital for children to observe their parents enjoying a range of foods, and my kids and I relished those delightful ice cream sandwiches together. I cherish every moment of my recovery and the ability to share it with my children.
The post gained traction on social media, attracting numerous supportive comments and inspiring stories from women in recovery sharing their own experiences with ice cream. Yet, I anticipated someone would challenge my “All Foods Fit” philosophy on food.
“I disagree in one respect. Junk food is junk. Chemical-laden and unhealthy. Occasionally indulging in a Twinkie is fine, but children should learn about nutritious foods.”
“Moderation is essential. As long as my daughter eats a balanced meal covering most food groups, I don’t mind sharing ice cream with her. She prefers fresh strawberries over processed sugars most days. I want her to try new things and ensure she gets some protein.”
Initially, I began to respond, but then I realized my thoughts warranted a more thorough reply.
So here it is:
Thank you for your insights. I understand the emphasis on moderation and the labeling of food as “junk,” as that’s the narrative pushed by society and many so-called “experts.”
“Don’t eat junk! Childhood obesity is soaring! Limit processed sugars! Moderation is KEY!”
I often hear the phrase “Moderation is key,” and I wholeheartedly agree. Is it healthy to consume ice cream and pizza all day, every day? Absolutely not. Conversely, is it beneficial to eat only kale and apples? Not at all. Thus, moderation truly is essential.
I find it unsettling when people refer to “chemical-laden” foods. This concern stems not just from my past with eating disorders but also from my daughter’s battle with cancer. Two years ago, while my daughter was in the hospital fighting neuroblastoma, I posted a photo of her with cupcakes sent by caring friends. I was taken aback by an anonymous email warning me to keep sugar away from her.
First, my daughter was only eight months old and had just spent a week in the PICU—she wasn’t even on solid foods yet. Second, sugar does not cause cancer. I know this might spark a debate, but my daughter was diagnosed at just seven months old, and all she had consumed was breast milk. Cancer can happen to anyone. While there’s a clear link between smoking and cancer, the evidence connecting sugar and processed foods to cancer is minimal.
Trust me, I’ve interrogated every doctor and nurse on our oncology floor about the causes of Marjorie’s cancer. I’ve asked what I can do to prevent it from returning or to stop my son from developing cancer. Unfortunately, there’s little I can do. Cancer simply occurs sometimes.
One of the oncology nurses once shared a story about two patients with the same cancer. One came from a family that adhered to a strict vegetarian, organic diet, while the other was from a lower-income household with parents working multiple jobs, subsisting mostly on fast food. Their diets were radically different, yet they faced the same illness. You can’t shield your children from cancer.
That said, is it wise to eat processed foods and sugary snacks all day? Of course not. Moderation is key—whether it’s kale or cupcakes, or as I jokingly refer to them, “chemical desserts.” For the record, I do purchase organic meats and dairy, but my pantry also includes non-organic bananas and Oreos.
Ultimately, we should not deny ourselves or our children what their bodies desire. I mean, who doesn’t crave an ice cream sandwich after a hot summer day? I’ve yet to meet someone who longs for frozen kale after a day at the beach!
Food is simply food. While some options provide more nutrients than others, it’s crucial not to create a hierarchy. When we restrict certain foods, we often end up craving them even more. By tuning into our bodies, we can understand what we really need. Sometimes our bodies crave leafy greens; other times, they might call for a burger if our iron levels are low.
Even at a young age, my children grasp that food is just food. My son occasionally opts for bananas over cake and vice versa. The reality is that we’re all born with a natural hunger/fullness system, which can become distorted through diets or restrictions. We unintentionally pass this guilt onto our children, who we love and want to see healthy and happy. I can’t count the number of young people I’ve met who feel they must sneak fast food to avoid shame. What if we drove through McDonald’s with them? Seriously.
I recently participated in a presentation with Mary Dye, a remarkable nutrition expert. A mother challenged the “All Foods Fit” philosophy, asserting that if she allowed her daughter to eat whatever she wished, she’d end up at McDonald’s every day.
“Let her,” I replied.
“She’ll harm herself!” the mother retorted.
“No, she won’t. I promise,” I countered. “She’ll tire of it. It will lose its appeal. She won’t eat it forever, and it won’t be detrimental to her health.”
Mary then shared a chilling story:
“I once worked with a patient who struggled with binge-eating disorder. Her father was a cardiologist, and she grew up in a household that shamed and labeled food as bad, particularly fast food. My goal was to normalize food for her and eliminate the shame. As part of her therapy, we drove to McDonald’s together. Fast food had become something she indulged in secretively, in shame, alone in her car. We ordered, parked, and mindfully enjoyed our meal together. The more we deny ourselves, the more we crave.”
I’ve recounted that story countless times. I would love to meet the courageous patient who transformed not only her life but perhaps her family’s as well.
I understand that the idea of keeping a variety of foods in the house or even driving through McDonald’s might seem outrageous, but give it a try—you might surprise yourself. I never imagined I could have ice cream in my home. Today, my pantry includes ice cream, candy, cookies, bananas, kale, chips, cheese, apples—you name it. And guess what? I don’t obsess over what’s in my pantry or freezer—unless I’m preparing a grocery list.
My motivation for recovery was to be a mother who sets a positive example. I wanted to be the mom who could enjoy both ice cream and kale, and I’m proud to say that’s who I am today. I may be tripping over countless other motherhood hurdles, but I consciously strive daily to lead by example.
My aspiration isn’t just to raise healthy children but kind ones who embrace life. I want my kids to forget there are cookies in the house unless they genuinely feel like having one. I want them to attune to their incredible bodies—moving when they have energy, eating when they’re hungry, stopping when they’re full, and learning from their experiences. Food isn’t the center of our lives, but it is important. Our daily focus is on love and living—playing outside, building towers, chasing lizards, and dodging shoes when Marjorie throws a fit!
Raising healthy kids isn’t my primary goal. I aim to nurture kids who love themselves. When we truly love ourselves, we honor our bodies. We nourish, move, and rest them according to our needs. A genuine love for ourselves drives us to care for our bodies—mind, body, and spirit.
So go ahead, indulge in McDonald’s, relish kale shakes, enjoy daffodil sprouts, and yes, even embrace those “chemicals.”
For more on this topic, check out our blog, which provides additional insights into home insemination and parenting.
Summary:
This article discusses the importance of a balanced approach to food, emphasizing that all foods can fit into a healthy diet. The author shares personal experiences with food, recovery from an eating disorder, and the need to avoid labeling foods as “good” or “bad.” It promotes acceptance of a variety of foods, understanding our bodies’ signals, and creating an environment free of food guilt for children. Ultimately, the focus is on raising kind and self-loving children rather than solely healthy ones.