I wouldn’t call myself a total mess, but I’m definitely not obsessive about cleanliness either. I’d say I’m pretty relaxed about my living space. While I prefer it to be tidy and organized, reality often tells a different story—and I’m okay with that. My husband and I both work from home, and we’re busy homeschooling our three kids, which means our house sees a lot of action. And it shows.
However, when someone I’m not very familiar with is coming over, I transform into a whirlwind of activity. I can turn our lived-in space into something that looks magazine-worthy in no time, albeit with some frantic shoving of clutter into bedrooms and a bit of shouting to get my family on board.
If it’s your first visit to my home (assuming you don’t just pop by unexpectedly), you’ll walk into a living area that could rival an HGTV reveal, complete with fresh coffee and decorative touches. I can make my home look like a staged photo shoot when I really put in the effort.
Yet, I’d prefer not to make that my daily routine. As much as I’d love to maintain a spotless house every single day, that’s simply not realistic for our lifestyle. Plus, it would create unnecessary stress for everyone involved, and that just isn’t worth it.
When close friends come over, we tidy up a bit, but we don’t stress about achieving perfection. You’re likely to see a laundry basket in the dining room, a Monopoly game paused on the coffee table, and art projects in progress. The floor under the dining table probably needs a quick sweep, and there may be a pile of dirty dishes in the sink that didn’t make it into the dishwasher. You can bet there will also be shoes scattered about.
So if you find yourself in my home and notice a bit of chaos, take it as a sign of affection. Seriously.
If I didn’t feel comfortable with you, I would put on a neat-and-tidy façade out of respect and wouldn’t invite you into our intimate little mess. But with good friends, we share a bond that allows us to be ourselves, clutter and all. It signifies that I trust you to see us as we really are, without the need to impress.
Believe it or not, a laundry basket full of clothes is my way of saying I appreciate you. The little messes signify that you’re part of our family’s world. If you ever step into my home and it looks like we’ve let things slide, it’s just our normal state—not quite a scene from Hoarders, but definitely not fit for a magazine cover. And I value our friendship enough to want you to be part of that reality.
So please, view our disarray as the compliment it is. Letting you see the mess is a sign of our friendship. It means you’re always welcome in our home—and in our lives.
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In summary, our homes may not always reflect pristine order, but that’s part of embracing our authentic selves with those we care about. The mess signifies trust and comfort in our relationships.