By: Jamie L. Thompson
Updated: April 7, 2021
Originally Published: May 26, 2017
Take a moment to reflect on those initial six weeks you spent with your first baby. Recall the absurd lengths you went to, like obsessively tracking feeding times (in pencil for easy adjustments), meticulously logging every diaper change, ensuring the house was utterly quiet for nap time (what a mistake!), and sanitizing every surface with Purell. You probably rushed to the pediatrician at the slightest cough, returning multiple times just for weight checks—constantly worried that your little one was starving. Between visits, you were on the phone every few days asking, “Is this normal?”
Fast forward to the toddler years, where you likely found yourself counting the number of words your child spoke each day, sourcing only the safest (and most imaginative) wooden toys from Scandinavia, and fretting about screen time, vegetable intake, and nap schedules. You carried educational flashcards everywhere and subjected your child to bilingual Kidz Bop, making sure they mastered letters, shapes, and even calculus before kindergarten. You parented that first child like an absolute superstar, to the point where even pediatric experts were seeking your advice. Then, in a moment of poor judgment, you decided to raise all your future kids the same way.
Oh, bless that ambitious heart of yours.
Now, as a parent of four, I can confidently say that my last child is receiving the very best of my parenting. I mean the very best—because alongside the worries and neuroses came a healthy dose of humor and a refreshing attitude of not caring as much. And that final child? He’s thriving in ways that I never would have anticipated.
1. Patience? Zero Left.
With no patience to spare, my youngest has learned to tackle important life skills independently—like using the bathroom, whipping up a snack, doing his own laundry when he wants something clean, and even forging my signature on school notes. You know, the essentials of adulting—at just ten years old.
2. No More Health Obsessions.
My last baby didn’t even make it to his first checkup until he was almost two months old. When the pediatrician’s office called, I simply replied, “I don’t have time; he’s thriving.” He’s also been my healthiest child yet, never getting sick. I let his older brothers come home from school and shower him with germs, and he learned what “danger” meant much faster than his siblings ever did.
3. Kindergarten Preparedness? Who Needs It?
He may not have known how to write his name when he started kindergarten, but he could certainly create some impressive artwork with Sharpies on my walls—art that I proudly framed! Why did I ever waste time stifling his creativity with penmanship drills at age four? Now, my focus is on fostering a love for learning rather than stressing over grades. And guess what? He’s figured out how to write his name on his own.
4. Flexibility Over Schedules.
My youngest spent his early years in a car seat, stroller, or at various activities for his brothers, which taught him to nap anywhere and adapt to changes without needing a long prep time. He’s my most easygoing child, ready to embrace spontaneity instead of being thrown off course by it.
5. Forget the Age-Appropriate Toys.
“Here’s a screwdriver, a skateboard, and a chew-damaged board book from your brother,” I say. This means when I tell him to go play outside with whatever he can find, he actually does. It’s a win for imagination and resourcefulness.
My youngest has been a bright light in our family, teaching us far more than we could have imparted on him had we maintained the strict parenting style we used for his older sibling. With him, we’ve realized that it’s all about the little things. Even when life throws curveballs, he reminds us that it’s messy, unpredictable, and beautifully imperfect. By letting our guards down a little, laughing more, and trusting our instincts instead of relying on outdated parenting books, we’ve discovered a way to raise a truly remarkable child.
It only took a few practice children to figure it out.
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Summary:
In the journey of parenting, many find that their last child benefits from the wisdom gained through experience. As parents become more relaxed and humorous, they allow their youngest to explore and learn independently, fostering creativity and adaptability without the constraints of rigid schedules or excessive monitoring. Ultimately, this approach leads to a more enriching childhood for both the child and the parents.