A Young Boy’s Unexpected Kindness in Response to My Daughter’s Special Needs

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During a bustling family gathering ahead of a wedding celebration, relatives from various parts of the country filled the house, many of whom I had not seen for years. As hugs were exchanged and laughter echoed, children frolicked outside while adults caught up over food.

Among the kids was a young boy, likely around 10 or 11 years old. He was notably tall and athletic, and unlike the other children who seemed indifferent, this boy often paused near my daughter, Ella, observing her with a furrowed brow and a slight wrinkle of his nose. Ella has a severe skin condition, resembling a bad sunburn that covers her entire body, which often garners attention.

On his fourth pass, he finally stopped in front of Ella. Anticipating a question or a potentially hurtful comment, I braced myself, feeling a wave of annoyance welling up inside me. However, the boy surprised me by kneeling down to her level and exclaiming, “You are the prettiest girl! I love your dress! Are you having fun?”

In that moment, my defensive instincts dissipated. I was completely wrong about his intentions, and my heart swelled with gratitude.

Defensiveness can cloud our perspective, preparing us for conflict even when there is none. It often hampers our ability to truly listen and understand others, as we become consumed by our own feelings. Redirecting that instinct allows us to focus on the emotions of those around us. When we remind ourselves that not every differing opinion is an attack, we can better comprehend the feelings of others.

Although it stings when unkind remarks are made or when someone describes our sweet girl with harsh language, we have also been continually amazed by the kindness of others. Just as we hope people refrain from making assumptions about Ella’s story, we strive to approach the reactions of others without prejudice.

While I often wish for outings free from stares and questions, I recognize the importance of educating others about Ella’s condition, harlequin ichthyosis. More than that, I hope people can learn to offer a simple greeting instead of immediate scrutiny. I envision a world where kindness prevails over judgment, allowing us to embrace each other without the need to question.

Defensiveness can foster resentment, but kindness opens the door to grace. When we choose kindness over anger, we cultivate self-confidence and foster connections.

Recently, in a McDonald’s, an older gentleman behind me began speaking before I was fully attentive. I caught a snippet regarding keeping a hat on Ella, and instinctively braced for a lecture on sun safety. Instead, he remarked on the challenge of keeping hats on his grandkids, smiling as he added, “She’s a real cutie.”

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In summary, the unexpected kindness of a young boy served as a poignant reminder of the goodness that exists in the world. By embracing kindness and reframing our expectations, we can foster understanding and connection in a society that often leans towards defensiveness and judgment.