In Defense of Climbing Trees and Engaging in Risky Play

Abstract

In contemporary parenting, the inclination to shelter children from risk has intensified, often leading to overprotective behaviors. This article examines the significance of risky play, including climbing trees, and posits that such activities are essential for developing resilience and emotional regulation in children.

A few years ago, I observed my then-5-year-old son, Alex, scaling a 20-foot tree in our backyard. Initially, it took a moment to process the sight of his small frame perched high above the ground, appearing both out of place and remarkably composed. I called out, urging him to “use caution up there!” while capturing the moment on camera, suppressing the anxiety that accompanied thoughts of a potential emergency room visit. Fortunately, he remained unharmed, and he continues to explore the heights of that tree. My partner, Jamie, and I not only refrain from discouraging him but actively promote this adventurous spirit.

The idea of a young child climbing a tree unsupervised may provoke anxiety in many parents. Some may label our approach as reckless or negligent. However, I firmly believe that this perspective is misguided. Statistically, children today are safer than ever, yet an increasing number of parents are hesitant to allow any degree of risk. Some opt for an overly protective “bubble wrap” parenting style rather than embracing a “let them bleed” mentality.

The Implications of Excessive Parental Control

What are the implications of excessive parental control? The result is often anxious children who struggle with managing emotions such as fear, anger, and failure. By projecting our fears onto our children, we inadvertently communicate a lack of trust in their abilities, suggesting they are not equipped to handle challenges.

Conversely, when we endorse risky play, we empower children to confront their fears and navigate danger in a measured way. This approach is not merely anecdotal; research supports the emotional regulation theory of play, which proposes that children learn to manage emotions through playful experiences. Engaging in rough-and-tumble play teaches children to cope with anger, while risky play exposes them to controlled levels of fear. As they learn to manage their fears, children gain vital life skills that enhance their resilience.

The Decline of Unsupervised Play

The decline in opportunities for unsupervised play over the past several decades correlates with a rise in childhood mental health issues, particularly emotional disorders. Experts suggest that the most significant threat to children is not the trees they climb, but the overly cautious attitudes of parents.

As child development specialist Sarah Montague notes, the focus on cultivating “perfect” children through structured activities can hinder their ability to develop critical soft skills such as problem-solving and teamwork. Ironically, adult-led activities, such as organized sports, often lead to the most injuries. Data from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention indicate that over 3.5 million children under age 14 receive medical treatment for sports injuries each year. This trend is attributed to the pressures of adult encouragement and competition, which can lead children to take unnecessary risks.

Encouraging Independence

Instead of dictating activities, parents should foster curiosity by asking open-ended questions, such as “Have you considered this approach?” or “Can you find a different way to reach the top?” This encourages independence and thoughtful risk-taking.

Therefore, I urge parents to step back. Allow your children to walk to school with friends, look away while they ascend that tree, and resist the impulse to repeatedly vocalize concerns. Encourage them to reach higher and venture further, even if it means you will be holding your breath.

Summary

Embracing risky play, such as climbing trees, is essential for children’s emotional development and resilience. While parental instincts may lean toward protection, allowing children to take calculated risks fosters independence, problem-solving skills, and emotional regulation.