The Distinctive Divide Between ‘Feeling Like a Single Parent’ and Actually Experiencing It

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In recent discussions, television personality and entrepreneur, Emily Johnson, expressed that she feels like a single parent when her spouse is away for work commitments. This sentiment, while understandable in its context, has led to eye-rolls from those who truly navigate the complexities of single parenthood.

As a genuine single parent, devoid of a partner to share the load, I find it concerning that partnered parents often make this comparison. It’s not just Emily; this narrative is pervasive among many mothers. To my partnered counterparts: you are not single parents. When your partner is away, whether for a weekend trip or an extended business engagement, it doesn’t equate to the reality of being solely responsible for all aspects of childcare and household management, day in and day out.

Having been a single parent since my child was just three months old, I now fully grasp the weight of this responsibility. In the early days, I too would mistakenly believe I understood the single parenting struggle, particularly when my partner was frequently away for work. However, the reality of single parenthood is a profound awakening. It encompasses managing finances, ensuring one’s child is well cared for, maintaining a livable home, and adhering to a strict budget—all on your own.

While you may shoulder these responsibilities temporarily, you still know that your partner’s return provides relief. In contrast, single parents often carry these burdens indefinitely. For instance, Emily mentioned having a nanny and her mother-in-law’s support, privileges that most single parents, who often rely solely on themselves, cannot afford. Many single parents are strategizing to afford basic necessities, such as clothing and food, while balancing their financial realities.

Mothers who have co-parenting arrangements may not recognize the long-term stress of managing every detail of their lives alone. The 24-hour day can feel like a marathon when there’s no one to share the load. The temporary solitude of a partner’s absence does not compare to the continual solitude faced by single parents.

Before you express that you relate to the struggles of single parenting, consider the permanence of our situation. If you find yourself overwhelmed while your partner is away, remember that they will return to share the responsibilities. Single parents often lack this option and must navigate their challenges without respite.

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In summary, while the emotional and physical challenges of parenting can be daunting for partnered mothers during their partner’s absence, the experience of single parenthood is an entirely different reality. It is essential to recognize that the struggles of single parents are ongoing and often without the support systems that partnered mothers may have.