A while back, I penned what was meant to be a light-hearted piece for our blog titled “Expecting While Plus-Size.” It unexpectedly resonated with thousands, leading many women to reach out and express their gratitude for my candid account of having healthy babies while wearing a size 20. I received heartfelt messages from women who shared their fears and feelings of shame, worried that their size might hinder a healthy pregnancy. I cherished the opportunity to provide comfort and a few chuckles amidst their worries.
However, those touching emails were my lifeline against the onslaught of harsh criticism and condescending opinions from internet trolls who couldn’t fathom a fat woman’s journey to motherhood. Ironically, if their aim was to make me feel ashamed of my body, they should have known it wouldn’t work. I’ve struggled with self-acceptance my entire life.
That was until my daughter came along—my mini-me. She radiates beauty, and I realized that if I loathed my own appearance, what message was I sending her? From that moment, I committed to following the wisdom of icons like Gloria Steinem: “When we criticize ourselves in front of our daughters, we teach them to do the same.”
The Impact of Societal Beauty Ideals
The beauty ideals in our society are often unattainable. Most female models and actresses fit a narrow mold: tall, slender, and conventionally flawless. These traits are largely genetic, and any minor imperfections are typically masked with makeup, filters, and digital editing.
The truth is, 95% of women can’t meet these unrealistic standards. This creates a toxic environment where those who don’t fit in—like women of size, women of color, or those with visible scars—are often marginalized. This leaves me wondering about my daughters, who are blissfully unaware of the judgment they might face as they grow. It’s my duty to set an empowering example and teach them to be unapologetically themselves.
Celebrating My Body
Even on days when I feel like a bloated sea creature, I never criticize my looks in front of my kids. Instead, I celebrate myself, even if I’m feeling like a hot mess. I avoid discussions about weight, focusing instead on strength and the importance of making healthy choices. I openly refer to myself as fat because it’s just a descriptor, not an insult. If I embrace it, it has no power over me.
I emphasize the diverse beauty around us, highlighting people of all shapes, sizes, and backgrounds. I choose to celebrate what my body can achieve—like hiking with my kids or doing yoga—rather than fixating on its perceived shortcomings.
I also practice self-confidence by ditching the shapeless outfits I used to wear. Now, I wear what makes me feel good and claim my space with pride. I even flirt with my husband, showcasing my hard-earned curves. I’ve learned that I deserve attention and joy, just like anyone else.
Standing Up Against Norms
Standing up against societal beauty norms can be daunting, but for my daughters’ sake, I’m determined to push through the negativity. I’ll keep pretending to be confident until I truly feel it, knowing that the example I set will empower them against the trolls of the world.
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Summary
This article discusses a mother’s journey to self-love and body positivity while raising her daughters. She emphasizes the importance of setting a positive example, embracing one’s body, and challenging societal beauty standards. By focusing on strength and health rather than weight, she hopes to instill confidence in her children amidst a culture that often devalues diversity in body types.