Let’s get real for a moment: according to the National Center for Victims of Crime, one in five girls is likely to experience molestation. Yeah, I was one of them. It happened during a seemingly innocent sleepover. We were huddled together on a pullout couch in the living room, and the older girl, who was only a year my senior, managed to convince me to take part in things I knew were wrong. I was terrified, feeling trapped and coerced, but ended up going along with it anyway.
But molestation is just one flavor of childhood trauma. Others include physical assault, witnessing violence (think stabbings or shootings), chronic maltreatment, accidents, emotional abuse, and even natural disasters. It’s a grim buffet of horrors. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network reports that by age 16, a shocking 68% of kids have faced some form of trauma. While few develop PTSD, a hefty 20% struggle with emotional, academic, and physical issues that linger into adulthood.
Those sleepovers? They didn’t stop because I was too scared to tell anyone. I was repeatedly molested at the tender age of 7 by another child. Yes, kids can hurt each other in terrible ways. I started to withdraw at school, which only led to teasing that I was ill-equipped to handle. My grades tumbled, and I found myself crying more than I’d like to admit.
When I say trauma doesn’t just disappear, I mean it literally sticks around. The International Center for Trauma Stress Studies indicates that those of us who have faced trauma often grapple with feelings of anxiety, guilt, hopelessness, and a myriad of emotions that seem disconnected from the original event. I often feel inexplicably guilty over things like a messy kitchen, something completely out of my control.
Moreover, childhood trauma can set the stage for a lifetime of struggles with anxiety, depression, and relationship issues. For me, the abuse activated a dormant depression that was already lurking, like a monster under the bed. It devoured my childhood, chewed it up, and spit it out. Left untreated, I became that sad kid, the one who cried alone, cut myself in private, and considered disappearing altogether.
Turning 18, starting college, or hitting any other arbitrary milestone didn’t magically lift the weight of trauma. It continues to find new cracks to seep into. My abuse convinced me I was worthless, and that belief was reinforced by an unhelpful family dynamic. According to the Association for Psychological Science, childhood trauma significantly increases the risk of developing depression—a severe psychiatric condition that can be fatal. Research shows that early-life stress can alter the very systems in our brains related to emotional regulation. We can’t simply “get over it.” The trauma is hardwired into who we are. In fact, a staggering 75.6% of those who are chronically depressed report significant childhood trauma histories.
Eventually, I sought help. A combination of cognitive behavioral therapy and medication has helped me find a sense of peace. There are various treatment options for PTSD, such as prolonged exposure therapy, cognitive processing therapy, and EMDR, which involves focusing on a moving object while recalling distressing memories. It might sound a bit out there, but it’s endorsed by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs and has worked wonders for many, including my friend Laura, who has her own trauma story.
The good news is that childhood trauma is treatable. There’s hope—we don’t have to be trapped in a cycle of depression and anxiety. But it requires reaching out for help, often with a little nudge from someone else (in my case, it was my partner).
We can’t simply brush off the trauma we experienced as kids. Thousands of children are currently grappling with the aftermath of disasters like Hurricanes Harvey and Maria, while others are caught in cycles of violence and neglect. These experiences leave deep scars that don’t just fade away—they fundamentally alter how these children think and feel as adults. They need support, counseling, and resources. More importantly, they need love and security to process what they’ve gone through. If they have that, maybe they can break free from becoming another statistic of depression or substance abuse.
So no, we can’t just “get over it.” But we can seek help—and that’s a journey worth taking. For more information on related topics, you might find this post on home insemination kits interesting, or check out fertility boosters for men for additional insights. If you’re looking for comprehensive guidance on pregnancy, don’t miss this excellent resource.
Summary
Childhood trauma is a heavy burden that doesn’t just vanish when we reach adulthood. It influences our emotions, relationships, and mental health well into our lives. Seeking help is essential for healing, and while the scars may remain, there is hope for recovery and a brighter future.