If you’ve nursed a little one beyond the baby phase, you’re well aware that breastfeeding can take some unexpected turns. Older infants and toddlers don’t just latch on; they often treat your body like their own personal amusement park, climbing and pulling as they go. It’s amusing in a way, but also completely maddening—and sometimes painfully so.
Toddlers come equipped with those tiny, curious hands. While nursing, one hand might be tucked away, but the other is usually on a mission, exploring every inch of your body. As they grow, kids develop their own unique “nursing habits”—some charming and others utterly intolerable. Whether it’s twirling your hair, stroking your neck, or even pinching, these little quirks can range from cute to infuriating. Personally, I can’t stand nipple twiddling. Just thinking about it makes me cringe. If you’re unfamiliar, it’s when a nursing toddler uses their free hand to poke or twist the other nipple. No, thank you!
My first child was a notorious nipple twiddler, and as a newbie mom, I didn’t know how to react. I absolutely despised the sensation of having my nipple manipulated like a button on a vending machine, yet I thought I should try “gentle redirection.” I attempted to distract him with songs, books, or toys, even tried out a “nursing necklace” designed to keep those little fingers busy. Spoiler alert: nothing worked.
After several months of no success, a friend offered advice that transformed my approach: just say no. She reminded me that breastfeeding should be comfortable for both parties, especially if it’s a long-term commitment. It was time to teach my toddler some basic ‘nursing manners’. So, I firmly established that nipple twiddling was a no-go. If he tried it, we would pause nursing until he stopped. I invested in a snug sports bra for added protection and soon, he got the message. By the time he did try again, even while nursing to sleep, I remained firm.
When my second child arrived, I was armed with experience. The moment I saw him reaching for that free nipple, I swiftly moved his hand away, sporting my tight sports bra for extra armor. I even draped my arm across my breast to create a barrier. Thankfully, he never picked up the twiddling habit. Instead, he became a lip-puller—still annoying, but far less bothersome than the nipple twiddling saga.
Every mom has her own pet peeves when it comes to nursing a toddler, but it’s crucial to understand that you don’t have to simply endure it. Sure, some mothers opt to wean when nursing becomes overwhelmingly irritating, while others just go with the flow despite their frustrations. Both are valid choices, but don’t forget that establishing boundaries is also an option.
Don’t hesitate to teach your little one some “nursing etiquette.” Show them where their hands can and can’t go. If gymnastics during nursing isn’t your thing, simply tell them it’s a no. Set limits on how often they can nurse and whether they can do so at night. And for goodness’ sake, encourage them to ask nicely for their milk! A simple “please” and “thank you” can make the whole experience a lot more pleasant for everyone involved.
Establishing these boundaries may take time and patience. Expect a few tears along the way (yours and theirs), but trust me, teaching your toddler some nursing manners will benefit everyone and is a far more satisfying option than feeling your blood pressure rise every time they latch on.
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Summary
Establishing nursing manners for your breastfeeding toddler is vital for a comfortable experience. Set clear boundaries about what behaviors are acceptable, and encourage polite requests for milk. Remember, you don’t have to endure uncomfortable habits—teaching your child some etiquette can enhance the nursing relationship.