Trigger Warning: Discussion of sexual assault.
Scrolling through social media these days, it’s hard to miss the two words that have become a rallying cry: “Me Too.” For many, it’s a painful reminder of experiences they’d rather forget. I’ve seen posts from friends revealing their stories, like the woman who shared, “Me too. Since I was 12.” Each revelation makes my heart sink. The stories of young teens being inappropriately touched at parties, women facing harassment from those they trust, or even the casual insults like being catcalled or reduced to objects—all of it is deeply troubling.
As a mother of three boys, my immediate reaction used to be relief that I don’t have daughters. But then I realized something crucial: my sons could easily become part of the problem if I’m not proactive. Without deliberate guidance, they might grow into the very harassers, gropers, and catcallers we are trying to eradicate from society.
It’s a reality that many boys, especially those who fit the mold of “cis white males,” are often socialized in a way that diminishes respect for women. The #MeToo movement has made it clear just how pervasive this issue is, and I refuse to let my boys contribute to it. Instead, I am committed to teaching them the importance of consent and respect for all individuals.
Understanding Consent
Consent begins with understanding their own bodies. It’s essential they learn that no one should touch them in a way that makes them uncomfortable. This isn’t just about private areas; it’s about recognizing any unwanted touch. If they’d rather not hug Aunt Edna, that’s their choice. I’ll stand by them, reminding them that a simple high-five is perfectly acceptable.
When they say “stop,” I want them to know it means stop—no questions asked. This applies to tickling, which is a constant reminder for everyone in our home. Tickling should be fun, but once they say “stop,” I teach them that it’s time to back off. Consent is about listening and respecting boundaries.
Gradual Discussions
As they get older, discussions will escalate. We’ll talk about infamous names in the news, like Brock Turner, and dissect the implications of alcohol and drugs in relation to consent. I want them to understand why certain actions are unacceptable. These conversations will be gradual, sprinkled in with anecdotes from my own past. “Did you know kids used to snap my bra when I was younger?” I’ll ask, highlighting how disrespectful such behavior is.
Eventually, we will tackle the tough topic of standing against peers who act poorly. I know my husband will be instrumental in guiding these discussions, as he’s more adept at navigating conversations with other men. I’ll arm my sons with phrases like, “That’s not cool, man,” or “She’s a person, not a piece of meat.” They’ll practice these lines until they’re second nature, ready to stand up for others when the moment arises.
Being Supportive
Most importantly, I want my boys to be a safe haven for anyone sharing their story of assault. The first words out of their mouths should be, “I believe you.” In a world that often dismisses these stories, it’s critical they know how to offer support.
It’s heart-wrenching to absorb the pain that the #MeToo movement has revealed, but we can channel our anger into action—starting right at home with lessons on consent. This essential work begins now.
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Summary
Teaching boys about consent is crucial in combating the societal issues highlighted by the #MeToo movement. Lessons should start with understanding personal boundaries and expand into discussions about respect for others. Open conversations about consent, standing against harassment, and supporting victims are essential for raising responsible individuals.