When a high school friend shared a story on my Facebook about her kindergartner’s “behavior” warning, my initial reaction was disbelief. Did someone really take the time to write up a disciplinary note for a 5-year-old? The note was sent home with her daughter, Lily, because she had the audacity to play with her shoelaces during circle time and engage in other perfectly normal kindergarten antics, like occasionally stomping her feet. This so-called “naughty note” was handed to Lily right in front of her peers, shaming her for simply being a typical child. (Lily is a pseudonym; her mom wishes to keep her identity private.)
As a parent, I can’t stand the thought of my kids facing this kind of humiliation—especially in a space where they should feel secure. From my background as an educator and education researcher, I’m appalled that such outdated practices still exist in classrooms, especially when research shows they can be harmful and ineffective.
Here’s why we need to eliminate behavior charts, color cards, and public disciplinary notes from schools:
- Shaming Mechanism: These notes serve as public reminders of disobedience. Over time, kids may begin to internalize these messages, thinking of themselves as “bad” rather than just normal kids who squirm or get bored. If Lily keeps receiving these notes, she may start believing she’s a “bad” kid, rather than a typical child experiencing typical behaviors.
- Ignoring the Root Causes: Often, kids don’t even grasp why they are being disciplined, aside from being labeled as “bad.” These systems fail to teach them about appropriate behavior in a way that aligns with their developmental stage.
- Damaging Teacher-Student Bonds: Instead of fostering a supportive learning environment, teachers can become figures of fear. The trust and empathy needed for effective learning are undermined.
- Promoting Extrinsic Motivation: Kids learn that external judgments matter more than personal aspirations. As educator and writer Sarah Jones puts it, these systems fail to instill an intrinsic desire to excel and contribute positively—leading to fleeting behavioral changes but minimal long-term benefits.
- Mental Health Risks: Many children begin to experience anxiety over their behavior charts, feeling inadequate or worthless. Parenting expert and author Mia Collins shared that such systems can be humiliating, causing kids unnecessary stress. One of my friends revealed that her daughter became so anxious about her behavior chart that she would cry and obsess over it, leading to a reluctance to even attend school.
- Interrupting Learning Time: Instead of focusing on teaching, teachers often find themselves preoccupied with behavior management—wasting precious instructional time.
The most ironic part of these disciplinary measures, as author Clara Thompson points out, is their hypocrisy. Imagine if adults had to navigate their day with a behavior chart looming overhead. Just think about it: one grumpy moment could drop your score from green to yellow. By mid-morning, many of us would be in the red, feeling pretty hopeless.
So, what can parents do?
Start by initiating a conversation with the teacher. Understand her perspective on why she employs these methods. If you notice they’re not working for your child, share your observations and see if you can collaborate on a different approach. Reinforce to your child at home that these behavior charts don’t define who they are.
Teaching is undeniably challenging, and I have the utmost respect for educators. But we must ensure that we’re not adding unnecessary pressures on young students. We should be creating environments that allow kids to learn, thrive, and feel secure. For more insights, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, behavior charts in classrooms can lead to shame, anxiety, and a lack of trust between teachers and students. It’s time to explore alternative disciplinary methods that foster a positive learning environment.