In the realm of motherhood, one of the most relatable memes features a dog, seated at a kitchen table, sipping tea while wearing a jaunty little hat, with chaos erupting around him. His caption, “This is fine,” resonates deeply with many moms, myself included. As a constantly weary mother of two young children, my daily life often resembles a series of minor emergencies, all demanding immediate intervention.
I awaken to the sounds of my children’s cries, and I end my day the same way, with everything in between feeling akin to herding cats.
This isn’t a complaint; motherhood was a lifelong aspiration for me, and I cherish my children endlessly. However, like many mothers, I find myself perpetually drained, emotionally stressed, and mentally frayed. Parenthood embodies a paradox: my heart overflows with joy, yet I often feel like I’m on the brink of collapse. This is the reality I navigate daily, and I’ve come to accept it.
So, when someone inquires about my well-being, I often find myself at a loss for how to answer.
What do they genuinely want to know? The complete truth? Only the positive aspects? Are they prepared for the raw details?
How am I doing?
As a mother, I’ve survived on an average of four hours of sleep for three years. I can’t recall the last time I treated myself to a shower. This morning, I struggled to button my largest pair of jeans, and my baby’s diaper just exploded in her car seat.
How am I doing?
I attempted to tackle the mess in the car seat with a Starbucks napkin, which, of course, tore. A wet wipe would have been ideal, but the last one was used to clean a stubborn booger off my purse. Yes, poop and boogers dominate my life.
How am I doing?
My partner and I have become ships passing in the night, high-fiving each other as we navigate the challenges of parenting. By the end of the day, we collapse into bed, utterly spent and far too tired to engage in meaningful conversation—let alone intimacy. After a day spent covered in bodily fluids, feeling sexy is a monumental challenge.
How am I doing?
Raising a family of four comes with financial burdens. Each morning, I am acutely aware of the significant responsibility I bear to ensure these little lives are safe, cared for, and prepared for the future. Just uttering the word “college” makes my palms sweat.
So, how am I really doing? Do you truly want to know?
I’m fine.
However, “fine” has evolved into a new definition.
Ask any mother, and she will explain: “fine” signifies that while we are living our dreams, the reality is demanding. We acknowledge the privilege of nurturing these little souls, yet sometimes the weight feels overwhelming. “Fine” embodies the feeling of looking in the mirror and struggling to recognize the woman staring back because everything about her has transformed. But this is the life we envisioned, and we have chosen it.
“Fine” reflects the reality that motherhood is incredibly challenging. To an outsider, our lives might appear to be engulfed in flames—because, in many ways, they are.
Yet, amid the challenges and sacrifices, we remain grateful.
“Fine” means we wholeheartedly identify with that cartoon dog, grinning amidst chaos, wearing his silly hat. Because this hectic, exhausting life is everything we ever dreamed of.
We are exactly where we want to be, and we are fine. This is fine.
For more insights on this journey, consider checking out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination at March of Dimes. Also, if you’re exploring options for home insemination, Make a Mom is a great authority on the topic.
In summary, motherhood is a beautiful, albeit challenging, journey filled with moments that leave us both fulfilled and exhausted. While we may say we are “fine,” it’s essential to understand the deeper meanings behind those words.