In my early twenties, I embarked on my first Friendsgiving, a celebration that revealed the power of community and connection. Newly married and living three states away from my family, my culinary skills were limited to instant ramen and the occasional Rice-A-Roni. My husband and I resided in a tiny apartment near the Air Force base where he was stationed, and the prospect of spending Thanksgiving alone loomed large.
Military life often means being away from home during holidays, and many of our friends found themselves in similar situations. To combat the loneliness, we decided to invite those feeling displaced for a festive feast, ensuring that no one would spend the holiday alone.
I don’t recall every dish I prepared, but I do distinctly remember the shock of discovering a long, tube-like object inside the turkey I had thawed. In a moment of panic, I called my mother, who found my confusion amusing and informed me that it was merely the turkey’s neck. Despite my inexperience, everyone contributed to the meal, bringing store-bought pies, rolls, and inexpensive wine, turning the evening into a joyful gathering filled with laughter.
Experiencing loneliness is challenging, but it becomes even more pronounced during holidays like Thanksgiving, which center around family traditions. In contrast, holidays such as Halloween or St. Patrick’s Day offer plenty of social opportunities, making solitude more manageable. Thanksgiving, however, magnifies the sense of missing out, especially for those unable to partake in family celebrations.
Enter Friendsgiving: a chance to celebrate with others who may also be away from their families or choosing to forgo traditional gatherings. Sharing Thanksgiving with friends guarantees enjoyment—something that isn’t always the case with family gatherings, where conversations can be awkward or contentious.
Friends bring a variety of traditions to the meal, and in our home, it’s common to find a plate of sushi nestled between the mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. Moreover, when it’s a potluck-style gathering, the host bears less burden and can focus on enjoying the company.
As a parent, my favorite aspect of hosting Friendsgiving is the message it conveys to my children: we care, we share, and we ensure that nobody feels isolated. My journey since that first Friendsgiving nearly twenty years ago has been remarkable. I’ve never poisoned anyone with my cooking, and I can now prepare a turkey without a second thought about its anatomy.
However, one constant remains: the diversity around our Thanksgiving table. Our home is always open to anyone, regardless of their background or reason for joining, and I hope my children embrace this spirit of togetherness, continuing our Friendsgiving tradition when they are older.
Even if the food is less-than-perfect in those initial years.
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Summary:
Friendsgiving emerged as a heartwarming alternative to traditional Thanksgiving celebrations for those away from family. This gathering fosters community, allowing friends to share diverse culinary traditions and create a sense of belonging. As a parent, the significance of inclusion and connection is paramount, and the hope is to pass on this tradition of camaraderie to future generations.