My partner and I fully recognize that our home life is anything but conventional. We live in a cozy camper, homeschool our son with unique needs, and I’m the mother who ventures outside to work while my husband, Mark, is a dedicated stay-at-home dad. He absolutely shines in this role.
I thrive on interaction and connection with others. My personality is vibrant and energetic, while Mark is nurturing, patient (most of the time), and incredibly skilled in all things outdoors. Sure, our kids might indulge in more packaged snacks and I often return to a bit of chaos, but I take solace in knowing they’ve been busy riding bikes, exploring nature, and learning about the world around them with their dad.
This letter stems from a deep appreciation for those who work tirelessly at home, shaping the next generation, as well as a desire to express the thoughts of those of us who leave early for work, breakfasts in hand, before the kids wake up. We strive to provide the best for our little ones — thanks to you.
Dear Stay-at-Home Parent,
Your role is incredibly demanding. It’s an endless cycle of meeting the needs of tiny humans. You’re responsible not only for keeping them fed and clean but also for educating them, all while facing the pressure of measuring up to those seemingly perfect parents on social media who seem to attend every event without fail. This is a challenging battlefield, and you are on the front lines. We salute you.
For those of us who head out at dawn to tackle meetings and deadlines, we never want to undermine your survival skills. Wear that “Stay-at-Home Parent” badge with pride.
But let’s be honest — there are a few things we wish you knew. As a mom working outside the home, and through conversations with my friends who are dads in the same boat, I’d like to share these insights.
So, stay-at-home parents, take a moment to heat up the coffee you forgot about hours ago, slip into your comfy clothes, and settle in. Here are some thoughts that might resonate with you.
- We Miss You.
We genuinely miss you while we’re at work. While you’re busy managing tantrums, kissing boo-boos, and engaging in endless rounds of pretend play, we’re trying to stay awake through dull meetings. All we can think about is coming home to your smile and those little hands ready to hug us, even if they might leave sticky traces on our clothes. - We Wouldn’t Be Away If We Didn’t Have To.
Many of us count down the days until the next long weekend or family getaway, wishing we could trade spreadsheets for movie marathons and kitchen dance parties. Even those who love their careers would rather be at home with you. A simple text or a silly photo from you during the day is the motivation we need to keep pushing through. - You Look Amazing.
Honestly, who are these people who suggest that stay-at-home parents should always look polished? You look fantastic just as you are! Yoga pants or comfy shorts are perfect for chasing kids around. That Cheerio in your hair is proof that our children are well-fed and cared for. While date nights and special moments together are important, don’t feel pressured to dress up for the everyday. - You’re Incredible, and We’re Your Biggest Fans.
There were days when I felt like I had lost my identity during maternity leave, simply handing over the baby to Mark as soon as he returned from work. It’s easy to feel invisible when you’re fully immersed in parenting. Yet, many of you handle hectic schedules with grace, tackling everything from meltdowns to appointments. You deserve recognition for your hard work, and we’re proud to share stories about your creativity and resourcefulness. - We Try to Understand Your Language.
We get it — your day has been long. If you’ve spent the day without adult conversation, we want to hear about your triumphs and challenges. Please share your experiences with us. We care about our child’s scraped knee, but we also want to know about your day’s ups and downs. We’re a team. - We Need You to Understand Our Language Too.
After you share your day with us, we sometimes need a moment to decompress. Transitioning from work to home life can be challenging. We don’t intend to dismiss your feelings; we just need a minute to shift gears, especially if we’re also carrying the weight of our own day’s stress.
Navigating this new balance can be tough. Like you, I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the demands of work and home life. We all have days when we need a do-over, and it’s crucial to lean on each other during those moments.
So, stay-at-home moms and dads, keep being the incredible people you are. You are the backbone of our families. And remember, we miss you and need you just as much as you need us.
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In summary, let’s continue to support one another in this beautiful, messy journey called parenthood.