By: Janelle Carter
I breastfed my child for three and a half years. Yes, that’s correct, and I’m not concerned about anyone’s opinion. Anticipating the transition away from nursing, I was aware it would pose challenges. However, what took me by surprise was my child’s continued desire to be physically close, often reaching for my breasts. It’s understandable that he would struggle to let go of something that provided him comfort for so long, yet it can still be quite frustrating. One of the key reasons for my decision to wean him was my overwhelming feeling of being “touched out.”
I never anticipated nursing a toddler, which made the weaning process nerve-racking. Surprisingly, it went faster than expected, leading me to believe he was more prepared for it than I had thought. However, even after weaning, he still sought the comfort of my breasts, indicating he wasn’t ready to completely sever that connection.
While this behavior is innocent, there are times when I simply don’t want to be touched. As a mother, I have the right to set boundaries. Weaning has provided a valuable opportunity to teach my child about body autonomy. I explain to him, “You know how sometimes you don’t like it when I touch your body? Well, there are moments when I don’t want you to touch mine.” He understands and respects my wishes, even if it sometimes causes him distress.
Wearing a bra has been beneficial; when he can’t see my breasts, he tends to forget about them and is less likely to reach out. Dr. Mia Thompson, a child psychologist, highlights in her writings that we often overlook the emotional impact of weaning on young children. This perspective clarifies why my son might still be drawn to my breasts for comfort; it’s a natural instinct to cling to remnants of the soothing experience of nursing.
As a result of weaning, I’ve noticed that he has become more affectionate in other ways. For instance, when he recently injured his finger, he curled up on my lap for comfort, something that previously would have been associated with nursing. This shift allowed me to enjoy the moment without feeling overwhelmed by physical contact.
It’s important to recognize that this post-weaning attachment is not permanent. Dr. Thompson suggests that the need for physical closeness typically lasts about a year, though this can vary by child. The intensity of this behavior may peak in the months following weaning and then gradually decrease. By acknowledging your child’s needs while establishing boundaries for yourself, you can navigate this phase more comfortably. The fixation on breasts will eventually fade.
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In summary, the journey of weaning can lead to unexpected challenges, including a lingering attachment to physical closeness. By understanding your child’s needs and establishing personal boundaries, you can navigate this phase with greater ease. The fixation on breasts will eventually diminish, making way for new forms of affection.