During my son’s early childhood, he faced challenges with potty training. He had accidents until he was eight years old and relied on pull-ups at night until he turned ten. Despite my efforts to manage his liquid intake before bedtime or waking him for bathroom visits, nothing seemed to help. Now, at eleven, when he expresses an urgent need to use the restroom, it’s clear that he genuinely needs to go. I have the empty soda bottles in my car as proof of this reality.
My concerns first arose when he was four, especially since his older siblings did not share the same issues. However, my pediatrician reassured me that every child develops at their own pace, and the ability to control their bladder can differ significantly. She advised against making the situation a point of stress, as doing so could worsen his anxiety and lead to more accidents.
When my son started elementary school, I quickly noticed that his bathroom breaks were restricted, and I found this concerning. What implications would this have for him, given his unique challenges with bathroom habits? As my pediatrician emphasized, children should be allowed to use the restroom when necessary, without feeling that it’s a special allowance. Unfortunately, many schools impose strict bathroom policies, limiting the number of times a child can go.
For example, my fifth grader is allowed only three bathroom passes each month or can use them during designated transition times. If he doesn’t use all his passes, he earns a “reward” of lunch with a teacher and a cookie. This practice is utterly ridiculous. Why should a child be rewarded for holding in their bodily needs?
Concerns about students ‘misusing’ bathroom privileges are common, but I believe that such instances are overstated. If an individual child misuses their access, they should be addressed specifically rather than implementing a blanket policy that affects every student. Incentivizing children to ignore their natural urges sends a damaging message.
For children like my son, who have struggled with potty training, recognizing the need to go can be delayed. It’s not uncommon for them to feel the urge only when it’s nearly too late. Creating an environment where a child might face an accident because they’ve exhausted their bathroom passes or opted for a cookie is simply unacceptable.
Dr. Sam Richards, a pediatric urologist, stated in an article for Parents, “Students must be allowed to use the restroom as soon as they feel the urge—not after waiting for extended periods. This is a critical health issue.” He further explains that holding urine can cause lasting damage to a child’s bladder, increasing the risk of accidents, bedwetting, and urinary tract infections. The consequences of ignoring the urge to poop are even more severe. I can’t count how many times my son has returned home, having held it all day simply because he wanted to enjoy a special lunch.
As an adult, I know I wouldn’t thrive under a system of scheduled bathroom breaks, even with a fully developed bladder. It is unreasonable to expect children to manage their needs in such a restrictive manner. We can allow kids to use the restroom freely while still maintaining appropriate consequences for any misbehavior, such as disruptive behavior in the hallways. However, limiting bathroom access and rewarding restraint does not support our children’s well-being or education.
As Dr. Richards notes, “Children are risking their health and self-esteem. Nothing is more humiliating than having to walk to the school nurse with wet pants.” Using the bathroom is a basic bodily function that shouldn’t be subject to someone else’s schedule. Access to bathrooms is essential and should never be framed as a privilege or used as a form of punishment.
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In summary, restricting bathroom access for children can lead to serious health issues and increased anxiety. Schools should prioritize the well-being of students by allowing them to use the restroom as needed, rather than treating it as a privilege.