It’s hard to pinpoint the exact moment it occurred, but somehow, my son has transitioned from a child to a young man. This transformation unfolded gradually, with small changes creeping in unnoticed. When I catch a glimpse of you, I can still vividly picture that little boy with bright eyes and chocolate smeared on his face. It’s startling to hear the deeper voice that now comes from you. Who is this young man? Where did my little boy go?
These reflections, however, have become less frequent. Over the years, you’ve been growing away from me, starting from the moment you entered this world. The shifts were so subtle that I often overlooked them, until one day it hit me: my little boy is evolving into a man. While this is a natural progression, it doesn’t make it any easier for a parent.
With this growth comes a newfound confidence, and yes, perhaps a bit of arrogance. But remember, it’s perfectly okay to feel lost at times. We’re all navigating this journey without a clear roadmap. Even I, after decades on this planet, sometimes feel like an insecure teenager. It’s alright to ask for guidance and to trust your instincts — you’ll find your way.
I hope you’ve absorbed some important lessons along the way. Your father and I have always believed that the term “being a man” holds no real significance; dismiss it. The same goes for the phrase “man up.”
It’s also perfectly acceptable to express your emotions and to apologize when necessary. Strength can coexist with sensitivity, and bravery can align with kindness.
Practice basic courtesies like holding the door open for anyone, and let others precede you in various situations. These actions stem from simple kindness rather than outdated notions of chivalry. Good manners extend to pushing in your chair, lowering the toilet seat, and making sure your socks land in the laundry basket.
Always strive to leave a place better than you found it.
When you find someone to love, embrace authenticity. Avoid playing games; be honest and genuine. Open your heart, even if it means risking the pain of heartbreak.
Engage in intimate relationships only if you’re prepared for the consequences, as they are always present. And speaking of intimacy — this should be clear by now, but just to reiterate: “No” means no. Silence means no. A hesitant “maybe” also means no. Only a clear “yes” is affirmative. (And yes, your parent is indeed discussing sex.)
The world contains a mix of individuals, some quite unpleasant. It’s not enough to simply refrain from being unkind yourself; you must also possess the courage to challenge those who are. Stand up for yourself and others, even if the issue does not directly involve you. Speaking out is vital, as silence only benefits those who are cruel.
Surround yourself with people who inspire you to become your best self.
Despite societal stereotypes suggesting that men cannot manage household tasks, remember that these are falsehoods. You are intelligent and capable. Take responsibility for your environment, both literally and figuratively.
Never be ashamed of who you are, but always recognize the privileges you enjoy due to your gender, education, race, culture, or socioeconomic background. Use this privilege to assist those who may not have the same advantages. Remember, “There but for the grace of God, go we all.”
Your sibling is your closest ally, and you are on the same team. Despite any disagreements and occasional annoyances, you are two halves of a whole. Who else can truly relate to your experiences with your quirky parents?
And when in doubt, remember to spread joy. Lift others up and strive to improve the world around you.
Love,
Mom
P.S. Please remember to check in with your parents.
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Summary
The journey of parenting involves watching your child grow and evolve. As your son transitions into adulthood, it’s essential to impart wisdom about authenticity, kindness, and responsibility. Encourage him to embrace emotions, challenge societal expectations, and support those around him.