I think it’s necessary to start this post by introducing myself. I’m Jane, and I have an online shopping compulsion. They say that recognizing the problem is the first step, and today, I’m taking that step.
Every day, I find myself engrossed in platforms like eBay, Amazon, and AliExpress for hours. Instead of catching up on current events, I receive updates second-hand from my partner. I’ve entirely stopped reading articles or exploring major news sites; I even neglect my own child while nursing to browse for the ideal t-shirt for him.
Spending excessive time shopping online instead of engaging in activities I once loved is a clear indicator of a deeper issue.
It’s not that I’m constantly making purchases, but I am perpetually browsing, bookmarking, and adding items to my cart. I fill my wish list with items to potentially buy later. Yet, it’s the yearning itself that poses a problem—the fantasy that life will be better once my son wears that $3.85 lemon-themed shirt compared to what he currently owns. The feeling of urgency and excitement when I find just the right rainbow shirt is overwhelming.
Online shopping serves as a coping mechanism for me, providing comfort during times of stress, depression, or anger—another telltale sign of compulsive shopping behavior.
While I often find myself merely browsing, I do make purchases. I buy extravagant clothes for my kids, even though they only wear them occasionally, and I constantly search for reasons to justify these purchases. Their closets are overflowing with unworn outfits, yet I keep buying more, often running out of space to store them. This behavior doesn’t serve any practical purpose; it simply highlights my compulsive tendencies.
The thrill of discovering the perfect jacket or bowtie sends my excitement soaring. But shortly after, guilt crashes down on me; I know I shouldn’t have made those purchases. This simultaneous wave of elation and remorse is characteristic of shopping addiction.
Then there’s the issue of managing the deliveries. I rarely buy things for myself or any practical items. When I do, I admit it to my partner, who disapproves of the unnecessary items I acquire. To avoid confrontation, I become secretive about my purchases. When my partner is away, I can easily intercept packages, unwrap them, and stash them away before he notices. When he’s home, I resort to more covert methods, unwrapping in another room and hiding larger items until it’s safe.
This isn’t healthy behavior, nor is it conducive to a harmonious relationship. Lying about purchases is a further indication of shopping addiction and leads to tension when my partner discovers the extent of my online shopping habits. He becomes frustrated, insisting we don’t need these items. Each conversation about finances is a reminder that I must curb my spending, particularly on children’s clothing, leaving me feeling a swirl of shame and anger.
When spending habits create strain in personal relationships, it’s a clear sign of a shopping addiction. If arguments about online purchases arise with your partner, that’s another warning sign.
The most daunting realization? I feel trapped in this cycle. Sure, I could stop making purchases, but I doubt I could resist the urge to browse. Even if I changed my passwords to prevent access to my favorite shopping sites—a common suggestion for those battling shopping addiction—I would still find myself at local thrift stores.
This reality is alarming, and I recognize that change is necessary. I plan to limit my time on these shopping websites and strive for complete transparency with my partner about my purchases. I need to remind myself that my children do not require more items. Instead of seeking solace in shopping when I’m upset, I’ll endeavor to pick up a book instead.
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In summary, recognizing that I have an online shopping compulsion is just the beginning. I need to take actionable steps to address my habits, prioritize my mental well-being, and focus on what truly matters.