Living with multiple sclerosis (MS) as a mother brings a unique set of challenges, particularly when it comes to managing fatigue, family responsibilities, and personal well-being. Fatigue is a prevalent symptom of MS, as outlined by the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. It can severely impact a person’s daily life, making it difficult to balance home and work obligations. This fatigue can often lead to early retirement for those affected.
MS fatigue differs from regular fatigue in several ways, including its occurrence on a daily basis, its tendency to worsen throughout the day, and its unusual onset even after a full night’s rest. This type of fatigue, known as “lassitude,” can be exacerbated by environmental factors like heat and humidity, and it is often much more intense than typical tiredness.
As a mother, especially to a child on the autism spectrum, managing these symptoms can feel overwhelming. Most days, I begin my morning already operating on just four or five “spoons,” a term derived from the spoon theory that illustrates the limited energy reserves available to those with chronic conditions. By the time evening arrives, my energy is depleted, leaving me with little to no resources to fulfill the demands of parenting.
When I find myself out of spoons by 5 PM, the struggle to prepare dinner, tidy the house, and engage in bedtime routines becomes daunting. Here are four strategies I employ to cope when I’m running low on energy:
- Take a Break: Before tackling any tasks, I allow myself a moment to pause. I let go of the anxiety about chores and responsibilities, sometimes putting on a show for my child so I can recharge for a few minutes. This brief respite can provide just enough energy to get through the evening.
- Delegate Responsibilities: Many mothers, including myself, have a tendency to control how things are done. Although it may not always be executed perfectly, allowing my partner to assist with chores lightens my burden. The laundry might not be folded “my way,” but it gets done, and that’s what’s important.
- Plan for Recovery: There are days when I have to borrow energy from the next day. I remind myself that tomorrow can be a lighter day, with leftovers for dinner and no major tasks on my to-do list. While this strategy isn’t ideal and can lead to a cycle of fatigue, it helps me manage particularly busy days.
- Accept Limitations: Some days, it’s just not possible to push through. I’ve learned that it’s okay to admit when I need time to rest—whether that means curling up in pajamas or binge-watching a favorite show. During my last visit to my neurologist, I discussed my fatigue, and while he suggested naps, I couldn’t help but chuckle. Balancing motherhood with a full-time job makes naps a luxury that feels unattainable.
While I might not always find time for a nap, I can often carve out ten minutes for a quick break between chores. Sometimes, even a trip to the store can be less draining than staying at home. These little moments of self-care are vital.
On the brighter side, there are “Good MS Days” when I wake up feeling more energized. It’s tempting to save that energy for later, but I’ve learned to seize those opportunities. Whether it’s taking my child to the park or enjoying a date night, using that energy wisely can lead to cherished moments for both of us.
In conclusion, living with multiple sclerosis as a mother requires creativity and flexibility. By prioritizing self-care and adjusting expectations, I strive to balance my health needs with the joys and demands of parenting. For further insights on family planning and related topics, check out this resource or explore resources like Johns Hopkins Fertility Center.
Summary
Balancing motherhood with multiple sclerosis presents unique challenges, particularly in managing fatigue. Employing strategies such as taking breaks, delegating tasks, planning for lighter days, and accepting limitations can help navigate daily responsibilities and ensure self-care.