In a recent lunchroom encounter, my son, Alex, witnessed a distressing conversation that deeply affected him. “He’s not really a boy, you know,” one of his classmates remarked, pointing at a popular boy at another table. “Last year, she was a girl.” Another student chimed in, “My mom says she’s mentally unwell.” “Alex is just a trannie,” his best friend added.
“Actually, he’s transgender,” Alex interjected, feeling the need to clarify. “That means he’s really a boy — he has a boy’s brain in a girl’s body.” But the ringleader dismissed his explanation, saying, “You weren’t even around last year when she was a girl.”
“Regardless, I know Alex. He’s my friend, and he’s a boy. He’s transgender,” Alex insisted. What they didn’t realize was that Alex himself is transgender.
Alex had expressed a desire to transfer schools after he transitioned. He hoped for a fresh start at a place where his birth name wouldn’t be used against him, and where he wouldn’t face deliberate misgendering. Although the school district recommended he stay where he had support and friends, we ultimately allowed him to choose, and he opted to move schools.
After hearing the hurtful comments, Alex couldn’t finish the school day. He called me to pick him up, overwhelmed by anger and sadness. These were kids he liked, kids he thought would accept him if they understood.
“Mom, you told me they had a program last year to educate kids and parents about transgender issues when Alex transitioned. They were supposed to learn!” he said, frustration evident in his voice.
I acknowledged his feelings and shared a personal story about my own ignorance as a teenager in the ’80s. “I didn’t understand LGBTQ issues back then, even though I had a gay brother. Luckily, I had a mentor named Sarah who helped open my mind. If she had responded with anger or ridicule, I might not have changed my views.”
“I wanted to tell them they were wrong,” Alex said, looking down at his hands. “But I didn’t. I felt like I betrayed Alex.”
“You didn’t betray him,” I reassured him. “You stood up for him, which is commendable.”
“But it didn’t feel like enough,” he replied.
Despite living in a progressive area with socially liberal families, the reality is that until parents are as outraged by transphobic slurs as they are by racist ones, we still have a long way to go.
What gives me hope is that kids like Alex and the well-adjusted boy, Alex, at the lunch table, are reshaping perceptions of what it means to be transgender. In our community and beyond, more advocates like Sarah are emerging, with many high schools establishing clubs for LGBTQIA+ youth and allies, such as the Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA).
My generation’s biases and outdated beliefs cannot withstand the awareness and acceptance fostered by today’s youth.
For more resources on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent guide on pregnancy. Also, for further insights into self-insemination, visit Make a Mom.
In summary, the challenges faced by my son and his friends highlight the need for continued education and advocacy. As parents, we must support our children in their journeys and empower them to stand against ignorance.