By: Sarah Thompson
The concept of family size can be quite subjective, and for many, the idea of having four children seemed like a distant dream. I always envisioned having kids, but I thought I’d stick to the norm of two—perhaps a boy and a girl. Yet, as half of Americans still believe that two children is the perfect family size, I found myself in a whirlwind of motherhood with four boys. It was as if, overnight, I had gone from a quiet household to needing a vehicle with additional seating.
In contemporary society, having four or more kids is often categorized as a large family, making it somewhat of an anomaly. Families with four or more children only make up about 14% of all households. Thus, when I venture out with my crew, I often receive bewildered glances, comments like “Wow, you really have your hands full!” and the ever-popular question, “Are they all yours?”
While I can empathize with the confused onlookers, I must admit that I often appear overwhelmed, perhaps even a little lost. If you’re a mother of four or more, you likely resonate with my experiences. I want to clarify that having a large family doesn’t equate to having more work than mothers with fewer children. We are all working hard in our own right. Whether it’s preparing meals, doing laundry, or juggling schedules, we all have our hands full. However, there’s a unique dynamic that comes with managing a larger brood.
So, what sets us apart? While we may be engaging in similar tasks, there’s a high likelihood that we’re doing them with a somewhat more relaxed approach—or maybe even half-asleep. We often operate on autopilot, barely recalling the tasks at hand. This shared experience is often communicated with a knowing glance between moms of large families, an acknowledgment of our mutual chaos.
Here are some commonalities that those of us with larger families tend to share:
- Memory Overload: During my pregnancy with my fourth child, I discovered that I sometimes forgot I was expecting. With so many responsibilities, I lost track of my own pregnancy milestones. I’d find myself sipping a drink and then feeling a kick, reminding me of my growing baby. When asked about my due date, my response would often be, “Um, I think soon?”
- Budget Constraints: Let’s talk finances. The costs associated with raising four children can be staggering. From braces—which might as well be the price of a luxury car—to extracurricular activities, my financial resources have been stretched thin. Keeping all my kids well-fed, clothed, and educated feels like a continuous uphill battle.
- Detail Management: The sheer volume of information I need to keep track of is overwhelming. At a recent doctor’s appointment, I was asked to provide all four of my children’s social security numbers. It made me chuckle, as I realized the mental load was heavy. Sports schedules, school assignments, and medical check-ups—did I remember everything?
- Frugal Living: When I had several little ones in diapers, I would only change them if they were completely soaked. A little wetness? No way, that’s a dollar wasted! If you want to learn how to stretch a dollar, just ask a mom of a large family. We can make one pound of ground beef feed an army!
- Focus on Essentials: One of the greatest benefits of managing a larger family is the clarity it brings. With the chaos of daily life, I’ve learned to prioritize what truly matters. We often let go of the small stuff and focus on nurturing the bonds that make our family thrive.
I take pride in the life I’m creating for my family. Despite the chaos, I view it as a privilege to raise these children and contribute positively to society. Yes, it can be exhausting, and I do long for moments of peace and quiet. But I know that one day, I’ll miss the noise and energy.
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In conclusion, while life with a larger family can be a rollercoaster, it’s filled with laughter, love, and invaluable lessons.