When I attended my postpartum check-up six weeks after the birth of my third child, I must have looked utterly exhausted. My midwife immediately remarked, “You’re really in the thick of it now. I completely understand. There are days when I just want to tell my kids to be quiet. Just stop talking!” In that moment, I felt as if I had transformed into the caregiver, and she was the one seeking reassurance. With a baby barely six weeks old and two toddlers, I was baffled by her sentiment. Sure, life was chaotic, but I had never felt the urge to silence my children so bluntly. Though she confessed she would never actually say those words to her kids, she admitted to thinking it several times daily. At the time, I found her admission shocking, and I silently judged her for it.
Looking back, I realize my perspective was limited, as I only had one child who was verbal at that time. Fast forward a few years, and my eldest had taken to regarding me as an encyclopedia, my middle child perfected the art of relentless “no” responses, and my youngest constantly tugged at my shirt, chirping, “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.” Suddenly, I understood what my midwife meant. I caught myself thinking, “Please, just give me a moment of silence. Just stop talking for a few minutes!” This thought now crosses my mind multiple times a day—perhaps five times, to be exact. I’ve come to realize that my midwife wasn’t terrible; she was simply human, just like all of us.
For quite some time after that conversation, I felt guilty for judging her. The truth is, children can be incredibly noisy. They have an incessant need to communicate and don’t care if you’re engaged in another conversation. They will share their latest toilet triumphs right in the middle of your dinner prep. They have no qualms about interrupting, whether their sibling is asking for help or another activity is happening nearby.
And don’t even get me started on the chaos that ensues when I attempt to make a phone call. It’s as if the moment I lift the receiver, they decide it’s time to start a marching band or demand a detailed explanation of dinosaur extinction.
Even when I try to signal them with a gesture, hoping they’ll pick up on the urgency of the situation, they seem oblivious. They truly don’t grasp the concept of needing just one small moment of peace. They are simply children yearning to be heard, often fearful that their voices will get drowned out amidst the noise.
We constantly teach them the importance of waiting their turn to speak and remind them not to interrupt. We even play the game of “let’s see who can go the longest without talking,” which is a fan favorite in our household.
In all honesty, we all wish for moments of quiet from our kids. And by “sometimes,” I mean quite frequently. And that’s perfectly acceptable.
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In summary, feeling overwhelmed by the constant chatter of children is a common experience for many parents. It’s a natural reaction to the chaos that comes with raising kids. Recognizing this feeling is the first step toward embracing the reality that it’s okay to crave moments of silence.