“Mom, can I bake something?” my eight-year-old son, Alex, implored as he burst into the kitchen. Naturally, he wanted to whip up a treat right after I had spent the last two hours crafting a multi-course dinner for our family of five. I sighed deeply.
“Not right now, buddy. I just cleaned up, and it’ll make a huge mess.”
As if he anticipated my response, Alex wandered away, likely heading back to his favorite sitcom on the streaming service.
Reflecting on it, I feel a pang of embarrassment about how often we had such exchanges. I frequently allowed Alex to join me in the kitchen, but I often restricted his involvement. I considered myself a decent cook and enjoyed baking, but I limited him to simple tasks like gathering ingredients, pouring, and mixing. Cracking eggs was off-limits due to the potential for shells in the batter. Washing bowls was a no-go because he didn’t do it thoroughly. I discouraged him from using the stovetop or oven, fearing he might burn himself. Often, I’d placate him with, “I don’t need help right now, but you can taste the final product.”
Then came a turning point one rainy evening. I entered the living room to find Alex engrossed in a show on the Food Network titled “Chopped Junior.” I settled in beside him, and for the next 20 minutes, I was captivated as I watched kids his age navigate the kitchen with an expertise that surpassed many adults I know. They diced with sharp knives, sautéed, boiled, and even made a roux. What in the world was a roux?
It struck me: these children possessed their skills because someone had empowered them with a simple “YES.” Right then, I resolved to change my approach. From that moment forward, whenever Alex asked to help in the kitchen, my answer would be “yes.”
- “Mom, can I bake cookies?” Yes.
- “Mom, can I scramble eggs?” Yes.
- “Mom, can I make mac and cheese?” Yes.
- “Mom, can I whip up a quesadilla?” Yes.
- “Mom, can I create my own frosting?” Yes.
- “Mom, can I use your baking supplies to invent my own recipe?” Ugh. Yes.
The result? It was a messy, chaotic, and time-consuming experiment. Initially, Alex required significant guidance in mastering the oven and the stovetop, and my kitchen counters seemed perpetually sticky. Nevertheless, he grasped new concepts quickly. The more I embraced his enthusiasm, the more he sought out new challenges. Before long, he was researching recipes online and trying them independently. I gradually became a spectator, watching his confidence and skills flourish.
Fast forward to a year later, and I can confidently say this was one of the best parenting choices I’ve ever made. My children, aged 18, 15, and 9, have seen me make many decisions, yet this one stands out. Alex could prepare breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert for the family if needed. He can crack an egg one-handed (a feat I still can’t accomplish), and his sautéed broccoli rivals that of any restaurant. His homemade chocolate cupcakes are simply divine.
These skills and the self-assurance they foster will benefit him throughout life. To me, that’s worth every spilled ingredient and messy kitchen. I encourage fellow parents to reconsider their immediate reactions when children express interest in learning, whether in the kitchen or elsewhere. The initial investment of time and energy pays off tremendously in the long run. Tomorrow, I’ll need to take 24 cupcakes to a potluck event, and guess what? Alex is handling it. If I’m lucky, he might even let me be the taste tester.
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Summary:
An episode of “Chopped Junior” inspired a shift in my parenting style, leading me to encourage my son’s culinary interests rather than stifle them. By saying “yes” to his kitchen explorations, I witnessed his skills and confidence grow immensely. This experience has shown me the value of allowing children to learn and experiment, which ultimately benefits them throughout life.