Navigating a store with a three-year-old in tow can feel akin to walking a puppy without a leash: they explore every nook and cranny, stopping to investigate at every turn, and may suddenly take off at a moment’s notice. I was aware of the challenges, but after a long night, I simply didn’t have the energy to convince my older child to ride in the cart. With a sleepy five-month-old to care for, I opted to let my three-year-old wander alongside me during our trip to the store.
She paused by the plush butterfly slippers and gave me her most irresistible puppy dog eyes over a massive tub of building blocks. Surprisingly, she managed to stay focused for a good 25 minutes. That was until we reached the checkout.
Her gaze fixated on a giant bag of M&Ms strategically placed for maximum visibility. Those clever marketers sure know how to get our kids’ attention. Just as I was feeling proud of our relatively successful outing, the mood shifted dramatically.
“Come on, sweetheart,” I said in what I hoped was my calmest voice, forcing a smile. “No candy today. You don’t even like those.”
She looked at me as if I had lost my mind. What toddler doesn’t enjoy colorful chocolate?
“I love them!” she cried, collapsing onto the floor in despair. The baby woke up with a start, joining in the chorus of cries. I abandoned my cart and crouched down to console my older daughter, who was now kicking in frustration while the baby squirmed in my arms.
At that moment, an older gentleman approached, scowling. “What’s wrong with her?” he demanded, pointing at my daughter. “You need to get her out of here!” With that, he walked away, leaving me on the floor with a wailing toddler and a distressed baby.
I was taken aback. Until that moment, I had never questioned whether there was something wrong with my child. Yes, she was spirited and strong-willed; I had even read that book about spirited kids. But I never thought of her as “wrong.” She was simply expressing herself as a vibrant, emotional child who sometimes struggles with following directions. Did I mention she was only three?
In that moment, I wanted to scoop my children up and flee. But I also felt an urge to confront that rude man. How dare he suggest there’s something “wrong” with my child? Certainly, her behavior wasn’t ideal, but that didn’t mean her feelings of sadness and disappointment were invalid.
Let’s get one thing straight: children are new to the world and experience emotions just like adults do—often with heightened intensity—and they are still figuring out how to manage those feelings. They may act annoyingly or unpredictably, but this doesn’t indicate that there’s something inherently “wrong” with them. They are simply being the little humans they are, complete with their big emotions, outbursts, giggles, and squeals.
Kids can make us feel uncomfortable, and they often frustrate us. They may ignore our instructions and refuse to cooperate when we need them to. But guess what? This is completely normal. They are exploring their environment and experiencing powerful emotions without yet having the tools to control them. This is how children are meant to behave.
As parents and caregivers, our role is to guide them patiently in managing their emotions, teaching them how to express themselves in socially acceptable ways. There’s nothing inherently “wrong” with any child, regardless of their actions. While specific behaviors might be inappropriate or even dangerous, labeling the child as “wrong” is harmful. Such judgments can lead a child to internalize negative beliefs about themselves, feeling unlovable or unwanted.
If you think I’m indulging or ignoring my child’s unacceptable behavior, you’re mistaken. When my child misbehaves, I don’t overlook it. I address it directly and, if needed, we leave the situation. I won’t call attention to the behavior in public, as shaming a child can damage their self-esteem. Instead, I wait until we’re both calm to discuss what occurred, helping them understand how to improve next time.
Feeling disappointed, upset, frustrated, or sad is part of being human—there’s nothing wrong with those emotions. The goal isn’t to eliminate these feelings because they’re “wrong,” but to learn how to handle them constructively. This is a skill developed over time, and children need our guidance and empathy, not our scornful judgments.
In short, there’s nothing wrong with being a child.
For those interested in exploring more about parenting and emotional development, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination. Additionally, you can learn more about managing child emotions and behaviors to support their growth, as seen in related articles.
Summary:
Children are naturally emotional beings who often express their feelings intensely. It’s essential for parents and caregivers to guide them through these emotions without labeling them as “wrong.” Instead of shaming children for their behavior, we should teach them how to manage their feelings constructively. Understanding that there’s nothing inherently wrong with kids being kids can help foster their emotional development.