By: Laura Jennings
Date: Dec. 16, 2023
Image credit: Sam J. Bennett/Getty Images
Throughout my life, I have leaned toward being a bit of a “neat freak.” As a child, I shared a room with my sister, who possessed a more relaxed attitude toward tidiness. I distinctly remember entering our shared space and experiencing a sudden rush of anxiety—my breath would quicken, my heart would race, and I felt an overwhelming desire to tidy up as quickly as possible. There were times when I was hit by an inexplicable feeling of anger as I surveyed the chaotic environment we inhabited.
Like many individuals, I grapple with anxiety, and clutter can escalate my feelings from manageable to overwhelming in mere moments. However, as a parent of three children, I want them to relish their childhood, which complicates my struggle with anxiety related to messiness. They have a natural inclination to snack, get dirty, and engage in rough play, which often results in a chaotic home. I encourage them to enjoy their youth, but I can’t deny my constant reminders for them to tidy up after themselves, as gently as possible.
The sight of goody bags filled with dollar store trinkets makes me cringe. Even the sight of a disorganized closet can trigger my anxiety. After a hectic day, if I return home to a space that feels suffocatingly cluttered with items that hold no value, I find myself overwhelmed. When friends unexpectedly drop off bags of hand-me-downs, my stress levels peak, and I tense up. If I am deeply engaged in work and discover a substantial mess while my children are absorbed in their screens, it can send me into a tailspin. Clutter—be it piles of papers, overflowing toy bins, or miscellaneous items—intensifies my anxiety.
Different individuals cope with anxiety in various ways. For me, minimizing clutter is crucial. I strive to be understanding of the fact that a household with four people (and a few pets) naturally accumulates items. Parenting means dealing with toys, sports gear, and random collections of rocks or feathers. While I sometimes manage to calm my mind, there are moments when the mess seems to multiply. My family might interpret my moments of calm as indifference, leading them to believe it’s okay to leave dirty socks or half-finished projects lying around.
When the clutter becomes excessive, my frustration escalates rapidly. An environment overflowing with unnecessary items can push me to my breaking point. I’ve been known to grab a garbage bag and discard unopened snacks, neglected toys, and forgotten art projects. The impact is not just mental; it manifests physically. I struggle to focus and become tense, as my mind fixates on the mess. Sometimes I find myself paralyzed, while other times I engage in a furious cleaning spree.
It’s not simply about the annoyance of clutter or the added work it creates. It deeply unsettles me to see money wasted on items that my children neglect or discard. After holidays or birthday celebrations, the influx of new items can overwhelm even my kids. The resulting clutter affects us all, and relief only comes after we’ve removed a significant portion of it from our home.
Everyone has their triggers, and mine is the accumulation of junk around the house. Many people wonder how I manage to keep things so organized. It’s not for anyone else’s approval; maintaining a tidy home is essential for my mental health. I find that I am more productive and ready to tackle the day when I wake up to a space that feels orderly and inviting.
While messes are inevitable, I prefer to deal with new chaos in a clutter-free environment rather than layering one mess over another. Just thinking about it gives me anxiety. We all desire our children to be happy and engaged, but there’s a fine line between providing joy and creating stress. It’s simply not worth sacrificing our mental well-being for material possessions. We need love, warmth, and essential resources—not an excess of items that contribute to our anxiety.
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Summary
Accumulated belongings can significantly heighten anxiety levels, affecting both mental clarity and physical well-being. Balancing the joy of parenting with the stress of clutter is challenging, making organization essential for maintaining a healthy home environment. By focusing on what truly matters—love, warmth, and essential needs—families can navigate the complexities of parenting and create a nurturing space.