One of the most frequently asked questions about my relationship is, “Are you planning to get married?” This inquiry often follows the usual curiosity about how my partner and I met—many assume we connected online due to our fifteen-year age gap, but that’s not the case.
My partner, Jake, and I have been together for nearly eight years, during which time we’ve built a life together that includes two wonderful children. We live together, share our finances, and engage in the everyday ups and downs that come with a committed relationship. We love each other deeply, so why do so many people feel the need to weigh in on our marital status?
Let me clarify: we do envision marriage in our future. However, I completely respect everyone’s choices regarding their relationship status. Just because we’re not married doesn’t mean we’re any less of a family. The question remains: why is a wedding viewed as a mandatory milestone for a relationship like ours? Beyond the wedding ring and potential tax benefits, does marriage truly enhance our family unit? I don’t think so.
Sometimes, the only motivation I have for tying the knot is the annoyance of explaining my relationship to new acquaintances. Referring to Jake as “my boyfriend” often leads to confusion regarding his role as a father, creating a need for me to detail our entire family dynamic. It can be quite exhausting.
I often find myself grappling with the societal expectations surrounding marriage. There are days when I feel pressured to conform to the norm, and I worry about what my daughter thinks when she asks when we’re getting married. I don’t want her to feel insecure about our family structure.
Yet, after sifting through these doubts, I come back to the core of our relationship. Jake is my best friend, and our love is unwavering. He is an incredible father, and we share the same values that foster a strong partnership. I feel secure and cherished every day, and I know that a ring on my finger won’t deepen my love for him.
In fact, I already have our wedding planned out in my mind—everything from the color scheme to the type of dress I envision. After eight years together, there’s plenty of time to dream about the celebration without feeling rushed to make it happen.
What I truly desire is to declare my love for Jake in front of our family and friends, but I’m perfectly content to wait until the time is right. A wedding for me would merely serve as a beautiful piece of jewelry and a celebration of the life we already share.
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In summary, my relationship with Jake is built on love and partnership, and while marriage is something we aspire to, it’s not a necessity for our happiness. We’re already a family, and that’s what truly matters.