Abstract: The intersection of feminism and femininity is often misunderstood. This article explores how one can embrace traditional feminine interests while maintaining a strong feminist identity.
At 31, I proudly embrace my affinity for the color pink, boy bands, and Disney princesses. Yet, I also embody the spirit of a progressive, intersectional feminist. My commitment to feminism has not diminished my passion for makeup, baking chocolate chip cookies, or indulging in romantic comedies featuring leading ladies like Reese Witherspoon. This duality seems to surprise many.
In her insightful work, The Feminist’s Guide to Raising a Little Princess, author Lila Johnson addresses the struggle faced by feminists who have daughters drawn to girly aesthetics, such as tutus and princesses. I often observe friends in the feminist community expressing concerns over their daughters’ fondness for stereotypical femininity. While I empathize, I find humor in it. I represent the princess-loving feminist, and I assure you, it’s not a dilemma.
“I would never raise a daughter who worships pink and wears frilly dresses,” Johnson reflects on her past self. Life has a funny way of turning the tables, doesn’t it? Interestingly, I didn’t embrace pink until my adult years. As a child, I can’t recall my favorite color, although in my teenage years, it was baby blue—thanks to Justin Timberlake’s influence. It wasn’t until I reached my mid-twenties that I decided hot pink was my color of choice, and I couldn’t get enough of it.
As a child, I played with Barbies until I was about 13. My fondest memories include visiting “Barbie on Madison,” a special section of FAO Schwartz, where my dad would take me on special occasions. I had an array of Barbie dolls, from diverse backgrounds and with varying hairstyles. I loved crafting elaborate outfits and hosting extravagant parties for them—where the boys were only occasionally invited. At these gatherings, they would discuss makeup and movies, while I orchestrated my mini rom-coms at the tender age of seven. Even then, my Barbies held prestigious jobs as CEOs and doctors, although my fictional president often donned a sparkly ball gown instead of a pantsuit.
For many girls growing up in the late 90s, the Spice Girls epitomized the blend of feminism and femininity. Their message of “Girl Power” taught a generation of girls that they could conquer the world dressed in anything from a Gucci dress to baggy track pants. They celebrated their femininity without apology, transforming the male-dominated pop landscape. I admired their confidence and power, and I still do.
It can be frustrating when others perceive me as less of a feminist because I enjoy activities associated with traditional femininity. Watching Snow White doesn’t undermine my beliefs. My hope for a fairytale ending is a way to cope with the complexities of single motherhood. My admiration for my friend’s adult tutu collection is simply a reminder to keep fashion fun. I shave my legs because I prefer it that way—not due to societal pressure. Similarly, I wear makeup for my own enjoyment, not to attract male attention.
There are many strong female characters among princesses. Tiana has a job and is clearly the boss in her castle. Rapunzel declined Flynn Rider’s proposal to pursue her own life. Snow White even managed to get the Dwarfs to wash their hands before a meal—a task many of us moms can relate to! As a single mother raising a son, I recognize that I must embody my values and lead by example. This is how I can teach him the importance of gender equality and individuality.
So, to all the parents like Johnson who have daughters enamored with sparkles and princesses, rest assured. They may outgrow their fascination with girly things, or like me, they might shy away from pink during their teenage years only to embrace it later. What truly matters is that they will always carry the essence of feminism within them, thanks to your guidance.
Feminism is about equality and opportunity. We can love pink tutus, all-black outfits, or baggy jeans. Our interests span from t-shirts to stiletto heels, and we come in all forms—nurses, engineers, astronauts, and more. We played with Barbies, Legos, and baseballs. The essence of feminism is not confined to a box; it thrives in diversity and individuality.
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In conclusion, feminism and femininity can coexist. Embracing one does not diminish the other; instead, it enriches the narrative of empowerment.