After nearly four years of being divorced, I find myself in a surprising emotional state: I’m in love with my ex-husband. Yes, you heard that right! In fact, I feel a deeper affection for him now than I did during our marriage. He appears more attractive, kinder, and is genuinely enjoyable to be around. So, before anyone starts judging, let me explain.
My ex is quite the catch. However, this isn’t a desperate attempt to set him up with someone else—he’s doing just fine on his own, I assure you. And I certainly don’t need anyone stepping into a maternal role for my children; they have me for that! My hope is that other divorced individuals will read this and understand what a fulfilling post-marriage relationship can look like when you prioritize your kids and let go of your pride.
I genuinely love my ex-husband. While our marriage may not have been destined to last, we did bring two wonderful kids into this world. When we decided to separate, we also committed to doing it the right way. Forget the drama and the trivial disputes; our focus is on the well-being of our children. Achieving happiness post-divorce is just as challenging as maintaining a happy marriage—it requires effort! I unabashedly love my ex, and he knows that a joyful life includes a joyful ex-wife.
Our dynamic could easily inspire a catchy tune, perhaps titled “More Money, More Problems.” And just to clarify, I’m not talking about alimony or child support—those are just part of the process. Here’s the key: Don’t squabble over finances or hand it over to lawyers. Keep your financial discussions private; it should all benefit the kids. Initially, I struggled with this concept, but my ex helped me see it from his viewpoint. I was anxious, disoriented, and completely clueless after twelve years of marriage. He consistently reminded me, “We need to prioritize our boys.” And we did. Using a mediator allowed us to keep our finances intact.
We remain a family, albeit living in different homes. Our co-parenting approach is truly collaborative; we share responsibilities evenly. He’s a more engaged father now than he ever was when we were together. Our sons adore him because he is fully present during their time together. We alternate weeks and even celebrate holidays together, often sharing meals. We attend our children’s sports events as a united front and even took family photos at our son’s Bar Mitzvah. The goal? For our kids to look back and see that their parents made the transition smooth and amicable.
Despite the ups and downs, he still puts up with my quirks. Even though he’s not my husband anymore, he chooses to respond to my messages. He handles my taxes, fixes leaky faucets, and comes over late at night to deal with any unexpected emergencies. He remains my confidant when I’m overwhelmed, whether it’s about work or my dating life. I used to be his “ridiculous wife,” and now I’m just the “ridiculous ex.” It’s a unique bond, for sure.
Speaking of dating, I have an unfortunate track record of choosing partners poorly. They usually stick around for a month or two, leaving me in a heap of tears. My ex has taken it upon himself to screen my dates now, insisting on background checks before I agree to meet anyone. However, I believe I’ve finally found someone worthy of consideration. My ex and kids have even nicknamed him “Number 13.” When I asked my son why, he simply said, “Duh, Mom, he’s like, number 13.”
As for my ex’s feelings about me? He once said, “Sarah, you were tough to be married to but easy to be divorced from.” I can’t help but chuckle. I wouldn’t trade this unique relationship for anything; there’s no one else I’d rather be happily divorced from.
In summary, navigating post-divorce life can lead to unexpected joys and enduring friendships, especially when both parties prioritize their children and let go of past grievances.
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