It was my 31st birthday when a stranger’s comment first made me question my place in America. While enjoying a picturesque moment in Paris, I posted a selfie with the caption, “Oui, Paris suits me!” However, the joy of the day was marred when someone I didn’t know remarked, “If you like it so much, then move there!” Initially, I brushed off the comment, blocking the individual and deleting the remark. Little did I know, it would foreshadow a growing sentiment that would eventually lead my family and me to consider leaving the United States.
As political tensions escalated in the months that followed, the atmosphere in the country became increasingly hostile. The 2016 election revealed not just a candidate with questionable policies, but one who openly espoused racism, xenophobia, and sexism, rallying a base that echoed these troubling ideologies. Shockingly, some of his supporters turned out to be people I had known for years—friends, neighbors, even family. This realization was heart-wrenching.
In my frustration, I took to social media to express my concerns. Each time I shared an article critiquing the new administration, I faced comments telling me, “If you don’t like it, then leave!” or “Go back to your country.” Ironically, I was born in upstate New York, to a family of Italian and Polish immigrants. I am as American as anyone else, yet these remarks made me feel like an outsider.
My husband, Amir, a first-generation Iranian American, and I have two daughters who proudly embrace their diverse heritage. We celebrate both Iranian New Year and Christmas, blending our backgrounds into our family identity. However, recent events made it increasingly difficult to feel like we truly belonged in America. We found ourselves forced to choose sides, a painful exercise for those of us who cherish our multicultural identities.
Maya Angelou once wrote, “You are only free when you realize you belong no place – you belong every place — no place at all.” While I understood her sentiment, I only felt the weight of that price. The barrage of hateful messages made me anxious for my family. The words of fellow Americans stung deeply, leading me to contemplate our future in a country that seemed to reject us.
As the election loomed, Amir and I sat on our patio discussing our options. The rise of racist rhetoric and blatant discrimination left me feeling anxious. This was a time when even children were spouting hate-filled remarks. “If Trump wins, we’re leaving,” I declared to Amir, and I meant it. The idea of relocating to a more welcoming place felt like a glimmer of hope.
When Trump did win, Amir discovered a tech startup opportunity in India—a country that felt foreign yet enticing. As the days passed, the political climate grew more alarming. The travel ban targeting majority-Muslim countries hit especially close to home, affecting Amir’s family. Our daughters faced prejudice at school, and one day, my eldest asked if we could pretend to be something we weren’t to avoid persecution. That question chilled me to the bone.
As the months rolled on, we made the decision to move. Arriving in New Delhi felt surreal. The heavy air and chaotic streets overwhelmed me, and I questioned whether we had made the right choice. Yet, despite my doubts, the kindness of the locals reminded me that perhaps a fresh start was what we needed.
Returning briefly to the U.S. a week later, I was greeted with questions about our trip. I responded positively, but inside, I felt an emptiness. Rather than finding the magical experience I hoped for, I realized the struggle of belonging, whether as a foreigner or a perceived outsider, was ever-present.
Now, as I prepare to embrace this new chapter in India, I acknowledge the privilege that allows us to make this move. Although I understand the challenges that lie ahead, I am committed to seeking a place where my family can truly belong. For anyone considering similar paths, resources like this excellent guide from ACOG and this informative post about home insemination can be invaluable.
In summary, relocating from the U.S. was a response to the growing intolerance and division we experienced. We yearn for a place where our family’s diverse heritage is celebrated rather than challenged. Although we are stepping into the unknown, we hope to find a sense of belonging that has felt elusive for too long.