As a mother of two teenage daughters, I make it a priority to understand their self-perceptions. My goal is to instill in them a sense of confidence and self-assurance, nurturing their ability to recognize their worth and to express their individuality without fear. While some days we seem to be achieving this, there are times when I worry that the pervasive societal messages about women overshadow my efforts.
My eldest daughter is on track to earn her associate degree from community college by the age of 17, consistently making the Dean’s List with impressive grades. Yet, despite her academic success, she occasionally questions her intelligence. I find myself astonished by her doubts—how can someone excelling in college at such a young age wonder about their own smarts?
This sentiment isn’t unique to her. A recent survey involving nearly 11,000 American girls aged 10 to 18 revealed that many young women experience a decline in confidence as they mature. Alarmingly, one-third of girls with a perfect 4.0 GPA do not consider themselves intelligent enough to pursue their dream careers.
What Leads to Self-Doubt?
What leads these high-achieving students to feel inadequate? Is it that they set unreasonably high standards for themselves? Or is it that certain professions, still largely male-dominated, create self-doubt about their ability to succeed? My daughter is particularly interested in architecture and film music composition—fields where female representation is scarce. Does the lack of female role models contribute to her feelings of inadequacy? Does she believe that she must not only be intelligent but extraordinarily exceptional to succeed in these arenas?
This pattern likely extends to other girls aiming for careers in male-dominated sectors like computer programming, engineering, or finance. Are they also feeling the pressure to exceed expectations to secure their desired roles?
Additional Issues Highlighted
Furthermore, the survey highlighted additional issues. Among high-achieving girls, 62 percent reported that they refrain from sharing their opinions or disagreeing with others out of a desire to be well-liked. While many expressed a preference for leadership roles, numerous girls shy away from these positions due to fears of being labeled as “bossy.” I struggle to recall instances of young males expressing similar concerns about leadership or social perception. While gender is not the sole factor in these dynamics, it seems that few boys worry about their intelligence in relation to entering female-dominated professions.
The Role of Parents and Society
As parents, it is crucial to foster a strong sense of capability in our daughters. However, we must also acknowledge that, despite progress, we face significant challenges. Some young women will inevitably pursue paths requiring them to be pioneers, a pressure not every girl welcomes. Even those with the requisite intelligence and skills may not perceive themselves as capable of competing in male-dominated industries. Whether due to a lack of visible female role models, the belief that assertiveness makes them unlikable, or unrealistic self-expectations, the messages girls receive need to change.
When one-third of academically successful young women doubt their intelligence, it calls for collective action—not just among mothers, but within society as a whole.
Further Reading
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Summary
A significant number of high-achieving girls, including those with perfect GPAs, question their intelligence and worthiness for their dream careers, particularly in male-dominated fields. This self-doubt is exacerbated by societal pressures and a lack of female role models, highlighting the need for parents and society to support young women in recognizing their capabilities.