In a recent reflection on my life as a 35-year-old mother, I recognized how my priorities and social interactions have changed drastically over the years. This birthday was marked by a soothing massage—my own little oasis of solitude—followed by a cozy celebration at home with my family, complete with gifts and delicious cake. It starkly contrasted with my 20s, when nights were filled with vibrant parties and carefree fun, a time before I became acquainted with the concept of hangovers or the financial burdens of preschool.
These days, I find joy in quieter home celebrations. Balancing the demands of raising young children means I often seek out moments of tranquility. This is also why I haven’t pursued new friendships. Beyond my inherent awkwardness, the reality is that my life is already brimming with relationships that I struggle to maintain.
I can’t count how many times I’ve suggested hanging out with friends only to fall short of actually making it happen—my intentions are often derailed by exhaustion, particularly with kids aged 3 and 5. My preferred method of socializing involves lounging on the couch, engaging with friends through text or social media, which allows me to connect while still prioritizing my children’s needs. Plus, it comes with the bonus of not having to dress up.
I cherish my existing friendships, as they represent a chosen family that has supported me through various life stages. However, even these relationships sometimes take a backseat to my responsibilities as a mother and a partner. So, when I meet fellow moms at the playground or through school organizations, I realize that forging new connections will likely take a backseat as well. My emotional bandwidth is stretched thin, and I’m already at my limit.
Invitations for after-school margaritas? I’m usually knee-deep in homework, meal prep, and catching up on tasks left undone during the day. Even on weekends, when my husband is home, I prefer to savor the peace that comes with not having to engage in conversation.
Perhaps once my children become more independent sleepers and I regain some energy, I will be open to forming new friendships. For now, my focus remains on being a dedicated mother and, occasionally, a decent wife (sorry, love!). I cling to my precious quiet moments, reserving them for myself.
If you’re interested in connecting, feel free to send me a text. Just understand that my availability for in-person meet-ups is likely off the table for the next few years unless you’re up for a movie where we can enjoy silence together.
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In summary, my current stage of motherhood is characterized by a prioritization of family and self-care over expanding my social circle. While I remain open to friendships, my focus is on maintaining the relationships I already hold dear.