Through countless therapy sessions, I have come to a profound understanding of my personal journey post-baby. Many people warned me that parenting comes without a manual, and, unsurprisingly, they were right. Now, after three years of navigating this parenting adventure, I can confidently say that while children need love, nourishment, and naps, adults can often be the real source of frustration. If only they came with some sort of user guide.
This realization led me to seek therapy, a decision that I consider one of my best ever. I’ve spent hours at the metaphorical baggage claim, unpacking past hurts and learning how to process my emotions, often referred to as “feeling all the feels.” It’s been about learning to let go, and I’ve become quite adept at it. I can empathize with many situations. However, there remains one group of individuals whose behavior I will never comprehend or forgive: those who have chosen to overlook my children.
Unfortunately, as my therapist pointed out, this experience is not uncommon. The rationale behind such behavior is a mystery to me, and I often wonder how these individuals can reconcile it within themselves. I find it necessary to voice my feelings on this matter, so here it goes:
To the friends and family who vanished when I became a parent, I must ask: What’s wrong with you? Can you genuinely claim to love someone for years and then disappear when they transition into parenthood? How can you ignore the fact that my heart is now intertwined with my children? If you didn’t wish to be part of my life, I could understand that. I acknowledge my flaws — I can be late, my humor may be obnoxious, and the list goes on. Yet, you stayed through all of that.
Your absence became painfully evident when my first child was born. I yearned to share this joy with you, to introduce you to the incredible little being I had created. But calls went unanswered, and visits were never arranged. While I don’t expect you to dedicate your life to my children, a simple acknowledgment of their existence would have sufficed. They are, after all, a part of my world, and you professed to care about me.
While I initially felt hurt, I’ve moved past that. The reality is, if you are too self-absorbed to recognize the joy my children bring, then you are the one missing out, and that’s a significant loss.
Let me shed some light on what you’ve overlooked: My son has a laugh that resonates like a bell, and his hugs can fill your heart with joy. He possesses a wit that rivals many adults, and his comedic timing is nothing less than remarkable. As for my daughter, she is a whirlwind of excitement, discovering the world in her own unique way.
If you chose to step away from our family when my children entered the picture, you missed out on the best part of the show. You left at intermission, having taken your overpriced souvenir shirt and walked away just as the real magic was beginning. I truly feel sorry for you because these kids have an abundance of love to share.
After much reflection and therapy, I have reached a conclusion: If you cannot be bothered to engage with the incredible children in my life, then you simply don’t deserve to be part of it. Wishing you well is sincere, but know that my family will thrive regardless.
For those interested in learning more about pregnancy and home insemination, I recommend checking out this excellent resource: CDC Infertility Statistics. And if you’re looking to boost your chances of conception, Make A Mom offers reliable fertility supplements. Additionally, you might find more insights in one of our other blog posts, Intracervical Insemination.
In summary, the journey of parenthood can reveal the true nature of relationships, and for those who choose to disengage, the loss is theirs alone.