By: Sarah Thompson
In a remarkable display of self-motivation, my 10-year-old son recently learned to play Beethoven’s “Für Elise” on the piano. Despite only having taken a few months of lessons last year, life circumstances—my partner’s illness and the subsequent juggling act of parenting—prevented him from continuing. Nevertheless, he makes time to play daily.
Academically, he excels, maintaining straight A’s, and he’s demonstrated commendable skills as a goalie in soccer and even scored 8 points in his basketball game last weekend. His intellect shines through as he can solve any Rubik’s Cube presented to him and is well-versed in solar system facts. He also takes the time to write heartfelt thank-you cards and generally behaves well. I genuinely believe that he has the potential to make a significant impact on the world one day.
This isn’t a boast; please bear with me.
Recently, a piece I wrote garnered a slew of harsh comments aimed at me and my family. The vitriol was astonishing—comments that were not just critical, but downright cruel. As a writer, I understand the need for resilience; I’ve developed a thick skin. I often respond thoughtfully to feedback on my blog, or sometimes I choose to ignore it altogether. However, when my children are dragged into a storm of negativity, I find it hard to remain silent.
One individual, a stranger to me, referred to my children as “illegitimate children” in a comment. This was directed at my four little ones, who are still healing from the loss of their father to cancer just two months prior. It’s disheartening to think that someone could perceive them in such a despicable light. I know nothing about this individual—her life circumstances, her relationships, or her capacity for empathy—but it’s clear that her perspective is troubling. If she can harbor such disdain for innocent children, one can only wonder about the place that awaits her in the afterlife.
Another comment came from a man suggesting I shouldn’t have had kids, or at least not “so many,” if I couldn’t “control” them. This sentiment was shared by someone who has never witnessed my son celebrating a game-winning basket or gazed into the loving eyes of my daughters. It’s evident he does not appreciate the joy children can bring, nor the complexities of parenting.
Many will say, “Why let strangers affect you?” or “Just ignore them.” However, it’s the existence of such cold-hearted individuals that troubles me. People who teach their own children to be unkind are perpetuating a cycle of negativity. This is the reality I find hard to swallow.
Growing up, my mother often reminded me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” I thought this was a universal truth. In today’s world, where sharing opinions is as simple as a click, I question what compels people to express cruelty, often at the expense of another’s feelings. Shouldn’t we be instilling in our children values like self-control, kindness, and respect for others? Perhaps my mother’s saying should be a guiding principle for everyone.
Watching my son play the piano daily, it pains me to think anyone could voice negativity about him. He’s a child whose experiences are limited to innocent joys like biking, fort-building, and dog-walking. He embodies hope and goodness, and it’s hard to fathom how anyone could perceive him otherwise.
Eventually, he will enter a world filled with mean-spirited individuals. Criticism, negativity, and harsh words will inevitably come his way, and I dread the thought of my daughters facing similar experiences. But while I may not shield them from such realities, I can teach them to be kind and compassionate. We can encourage them to offer smiles instead of scowls and to recognize that not every opinion is worth expressing—especially if it can hurt someone.
These are the children who will grow into kind, respectful adults, aware of the power their words hold. They will choose to uplift rather than tear down, and that’s how we can truly change the world.
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In summary, we can foster a generation that values kindness over cruelty, helping our children navigate a world that can be unkind while teaching them to be beacons of love and respect.