Updated: March 12, 2021
Originally Published: January 20, 2018
You may be quick to judge me as irresponsible or even unfit as a parent. You might argue that I should be more mature and that my choices are reckless. If you reside in a state where cannabis isn’t legal for recreational use (which is the case for most states outside places like Washington, Oregon, and Colorado), your perception of regular marijuana use may be quite narrow.
I am a 35-year-old mother of two, and I consume cannabis regularly to maintain my mental well-being, manage stress, and improve my overall quality of life. Some may label me a “stoner,” but I see it differently; I view myself as a mother utilizing the most effective means to be present and engaged for my family.
I don’t take this stance lightly. A fellow writer recently suggested that cannabis might be a healthier option for mothers than wine, and she faced backlash, including threats to her parental rights. Comments like “#AddictedNation” were rampant.
Let me clarify: I don’t consider myself addicted to cannabis in any meaningful way. In fact, I find it easier to abstain from cannabis than from some prescription medications prescribed by my psychiatrist. If I stopped those, the withdrawal would be far more challenging. I might feel a bit irritable without cannabis, but it’s nothing compared to the severe discontinuation syndrome faced when halting psychiatric drugs.
It’s interesting how society accepts the narrative of mothers needing a glass of wine after a long day, often celebrated in memes and sitcoms. In contrast, the notion of a mother using cannabis at the end of the day brings about a wave of judgment.
The reality is that cannabis enhances my life without the adverse effects associated with alcohol or many prescribed medications. It helps manage my mental health issues, which in turn benefits my family. A mother struggling with anxiety or depression can create a challenging environment for her children, a fact we are all too aware of.
Moreover, one common struggle among mothers is sleep—something we all chase like a hungry predator pursuing its prey. I’ve battled sleep difficulties since childhood, largely due to anxiety. It was only years later that I discovered the soothing effects of cannabis. After taking just a couple of hits, I found myself drifting off into a peaceful slumber within minutes. Now, I use cannabis to ensure restful sleep, waking up refreshed and ready to tackle the day.
While I still rely on coffee in the morning, I’m no longer the exhausted wreck I once was, fumbling my way to the coffee maker.
Additionally, cannabis has positively influenced my relationship with my partner. Given my medications, my libido can be quite low. However, with the right strain of cannabis, I experience a significant boost in that area, which is crucial for maintaining intimacy in our relationship. This shared pleasure reinforces our bond, allowing us to reconnect after busy days filled with work and parenting responsibilities.
Overall, cannabis helps me approach parenting with reduced tension. I don’t consume it in front of my children, nor do I use it during the day, but occasional use allows me to manage stress effectively. I no longer react harshly to the little mishaps of parenting, understanding wholeheartedly that “If Mama Ain’t Happy, Ain’t Nobody Happy.”
The landscape is changing; recreational cannabis use is now legal in several states, and many others are moving towards decriminalization. With continued legislative efforts, the stigma surrounding responsible cannabis use for parenting may eventually dissipate. Until then, I will continue to use cannabis occasionally, enhancing my quality of life and, in turn, my ability to care for my children. Because at the end of the day, if it helps me be a better mom, then it’s worth it.
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In conclusion, cannabis has proven to be a beneficial tool in my life, contributing positively to my mental health and family dynamics while challenging societal norms surrounding motherhood.